BB9 - Launch Night

Big Brother housemates 2008
Davina McCall kicks off Big Brother 2008 by saying “Do you know what.. Britain’s Not Got Talent”.

Big Brother means business this year and tonight, 16 new housemates will be entering the house. In just 93 short days, 1 winner will take home the £100,000 prize.

There’s a zero tolerance policy this year. Break the rules and you’re sent to a jail cell that has bars you can see everyone else enjoying themselves through while you look at the doll heads with no eyes.

Davina takes us on a tour of the house. There are two bedrooms. One of luxury, one of not.

There is a token system this year too which the housemates will have to use to buy the things they taken for granted in previous seasons. Like curling tongs or straighteners.

The diary room looks fantastically cool!

Enough of the pleasantries anyway, lets meet some of these housemates shall we?

First up is 42 year old Sales Executive, Mario and 40 year old Sales Rep Lisa. They’re a couple but not your ordinary type. They finish each other’s sentences at the end of their introductions.

Next up is our model student, Luke. He doesn’t drink or swear and wants to change everyone’s perception of students. Sounds charming. He makes a totally knob of himself.

19 year old student Stephanie is housemate #4. She’s a hot wee thing and would like to become the most famous contestant ever.

Big Brother calls the new housemates to the diary room. He welcomes to the house and tells them to listen very carefully. As the first four housemates, they have to take part in a secret mission. Their task is that Mario and Lisa have to pretend they’re not in a relationship. As a cover story, Mario and Stephanie have to pretend they are in a relationship instead.

If they can pass this task, they will be safe from the public vote. The rest of the house will be up for the public vote. If they fail, they will all be up for eviction.

They all talk about how they can come up with a cover story.

The next person coming into the house is 24 year old trainee teacher, Rachel. She can’t help talking this girl. She’s not that keen on silence. She’s a practicing Catholic. The crowd isn’t booing when she walks up the stairs which Davina finds amazing.

When Rachel arrives in the house the first thing she notices is Lisa’s breasts.

21 year old student Dale is arriving next. He wants “Cool Bastard” written on his grave stone. Can you hear the boos yet?

21 year old student Sylvia is next and thinks she’s very trendy. Of course, Big Brother has to insult what she’s wearing. She’s greeting by a roar of boos. She’s a practicing Christian. Her boobs are her best feature – according to her. And if she could make a law it would be that nightclubs always had to be open. She is the second housemate to walk down the left hand stair case as she enters the house.

23 year old camp lad and dance student is Dennis. Certainly colourful.

#9 os 33 year old radio producer, Michael. This will be interesting in the house as he’s blind. Did we mention he dresses like a woman? His guide leads him inside and down the stairs to the door.

Housemate #10 is 23 year old Alexandra. An overly arrogant “genuine person”. She is muslim but not practicing. The crowd chants “Out, Out, Out” as she walks through the door.

Terrific 10 becomes an Electic 11 with 24 year old Rex. He’s secretly shy. Whatever that means. He’s a professional bully?

#12 swears he’s not a terrorist, despite his name being regularly associated with them. 23 year old toy demonstrator Mohamed is from Somalia originally but isn’t your stereotypical Somalian. How cool is his ‘fro?

21 year old Nursery nurse Rebecca arrives to cheers from the crowds. Her skirt could not be any shorter. I feel sorry for the poor people in the front row who copped an “Britney Spears” when she bent over. Talk about being excitable.

26 year old Darnell is an Albino. Another one for the eclectic mix in the house this year. He takes the left hand stair well as well.

22 year old part time model is Jennifer. She’s another single mum in the house. She’s pretty opinionated about a host of hot issues. She’s another Catholic girl going into the house.

Our final new friend for the summer is 30 year Kathreya – originally from Bangkok. She’s a bit of a cookie monster. She struggles up the stairs in her golden platform shoes.

So that’s it. To close out the launch and arrival of the housemates for the all new season of Big Brother, Davina tells us that on Sunday, Mario and Stephanie will be getting married. For real. Or so they’ll think! Could be game over for their wee plan if they can’t keep it together.

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  • Anonymous

    “#12 swears he’s not a terrorist, despite his name being regularly associated with them.”

    Did you actually write that? Read it back to yourselves slowly. Now how stupid does that sound?

  • regan

    Did you not hear Mohamed talk about this during his VT on launch night?

  • Anonymous

    What is a stereotypical Somali Regan? and it is Somali not Somalian.

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