Live Blog: The X-Factor Series 6 Week 3 – the live show results aka Get A Westlife

19:30 Why hello there X-factorinos, it’s the second day of our trial by Big Band and tonight we’ll find out just who’s up for the high jump, just what the point of Michael Buble actually is and whether Westlife still do that synchronised standing up off of stools thing they used to love. Predictions for tonight: a Stephen Gately tribute from the Westlife boys, Ollie and Lloyd in the bottom two, more criticism of Simon’s song choices from Louis. See you in thirty minutes.

19:59 Dannii’s angry with Simon and Louis and Cheryl are having one of their faux sparring sessions – well, hey, the tabloids need something to write about.

20:01 “Westlife: the biggest selling band of the decade.” That doesn’t say much for the British record buying public does it?

20:04 The group singing bit is always a bit Butlins isn’t it? Fascination? Abomination more like.

20:06 Here’s the behind-the-scenes bit aka the fictional friction between the judges.

20:08 Seeing the recaps, I stand by last night’s conclusions – Rachel and Miss Frank were the class acts. “She’s back! She’s back!” Dannii is speaking the truth. Though Ms TV Throng and Ms TV Throng’s friend are fed up with her saying that every week.

20:11 Joe has a bit of the Ray thing about him – like a creepy mannequin made to dance and sing. Looks like Lucie was really upset by Simon’s comments. She needn’t worry. She’s not going anywhere.

20:12 Here come Westlife with “What About Now”. It’s five minutes of free advertising on primetime TV. We’re getting a rundown of their hits. It’s like being brutalised by blandness.

20:15 No stools but there are static mic stands, which is close enough. The Westlife droids are all in black and are going for their “sincere hurt” mode. This is as close as Westlife get to rocking.

20:25 Cheryl’s got the fastest selling single of the year. Gotta love her.

20:26 Dermot wants to know why there wasn’t retro music last night. John and Edward did Ricky Martin. How does that fit in?

20:28 Michael Buble. “Everybody wants him but we have him,” says Dermot. Everybody? Who are these mad people? Ms TV Throng’s friend says: “What annoys me so much is that he ruins songs.” What annoys me so much is his face. His stupid smug face.

20:29 Buble’s intro music was more suited to a Bond villain. He’s butchering the song like it’s a pile of offal for sausages.

20:30 Who impressed you most Buble? “Rachel blew me away.” Oh at least he’s picked the right one. Dermot is sucking up to Buble so much he might as well be sponsored by Dyson.

20:31 After the break, the votes are in. 8 acts will return to sing again. 2 will battle it out. 1 will be ritually stoned to death…no sorry…will be voted off.

20:37 It’s time for the result. Here come the verdict!

20:38 Stacey’s staying. Ollie‘s staying – oh ffs. He’s dreadful. Rachel‘s staying – at last the public has wised up. Love her.

20:39 The tension is almost too much for me. I’m breaking out the emergency gin. Joe‘s staying – I don’t get what people see in him. Lucie‘s staying.

20:40 John and Edward are staying. Boos from the audience. It’s all getting a bit cruel towards them. Let’s remember they are just 17.

20:41 Jamie’s staying. “That suprised you didn’t it?” whispers Simon. The final act staying is…Lloyd. Wow. Danyl and Miss Frank are in the bottom two. I want Danyl to go but to be fair neither deserve to be in the final two. It’s not a singing contest as far as the public is concerned. Lloyd and John And Edward are still in there because tweens think they’re cute. They’d probably vote for a Bratz doll.

20:47 Love Don’t Live Here Anymore – Miss Frank singing to stay in the competition. Great rap again. I just like that they do something different.

20:49 Danyl’s on now. Still with the undone bowtie. Good song choice – A Little Help From My Friends. “He deserves to be in this more than that little blond fuck.” – Ms TV Throng’s Friend in forthright mood.

20:50 My heart says Miss Frank but my head says this performance from Danyl is really great. I think the judge’s will save him. It’s a shame they had to choose between two of the best. The public’s voting decisions can be truly baffling. God help us at the general election. Ken Barlow for PM?

20:52 Louis can’t believe either act is in the bottom two. He votes for Danyl.
Simon: “I have never ever been so suprised in my life. If this is your last performance Danyl, I’ve never seen someone go out on such a high. This is a joke.” He votes for Danyl.
Dannii – she’s milking it a bit. “Based on the final performance…I’m sending home Miss Frank.”
Cheryl: “I’m really confused by the public’s decision.” She’s gone with Danyl. And it’s a dead lock. Cowardly!
The act that received the fewest votes is…

Miss Frank. They’re out of the show. Ridiculous.

Here’s their highlights reel.

20:55 What a good journey from them though and in reality TV the journey is king. Expect to see them with a deal and a single imminently.

20:56 “Thank you for the lifeline.” The last word from Miss Frank. Louis says he hopes they stay together as a group. They say they will. Louis must realise he’s in a terrible situation left with John And Edward. He’s not winning the series.

20:57 Next week: JLS and Bon Jovi. They give love a badname.

Thanks for reading folks. Keep it Throng for all your X-Factor news.

 

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Pale writer type currently on the run from the mainstream media.
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  • JustAnotherOpinion

    I’d like to see you sing like Michael Bublé – how can you say none of the panel/mentors are fit to judge singers and then pass judgement yourself? By that very comment you infer that you are superior to all of them.

    Which I sincerely doubt, as you’re blogging away instead of pursuing your multi-million dollar sell out world tour.

  • brokenbottleboy

    Now here’s the thing JustAnotherOpinion: this blog is meant to be light-hearted and humourous. I have OPINIONS. We all do. I know Bublé can sing, I just think he’s a bland facsimile of far better forebears. Of course you’re entitled to like him.

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