The X Factor slumps after the departure of Jedward

2009’s X Factor will always be remembered as The One Where Those Two Mental Kids With Weird Hair Made Everyone Question Reality.

Jedward appeared in the live finals like spiralling Dr Seuss characters… like catherine wheel’s that had falled off the nail… like something so insanely weird that both hate and love gravitated toward them, often from the same person.

Louis Walsh, their mentor, was left with his glassy little Teddy Bear stare, kicking the shallow bit of the stream saying “The kids love them, so vote! Vote! VOTE!” What Louis missed was the millions of viewers that Don’t Vote On Things Like This who adored the pair like they were some bizarre dada joke, stumbling around on our TV, live every week.

They were the reason to tune in.

Of course, they left the show, to which no-one was especially surprised about. Everyone understood that Jedward could never win a show like X Factor… as much as they willed it to happen.

And now, what are we left with?

Well, predictably, we’re left with a very typical X Factor. No longer is the show the brain-curdling TV spectacular it once was… despite The Big Numbers and exploding set. The fact is, the show has gone from being weird and fun to… well… two-dimensional.

This weekend, I sat down with the usual anticipation and within minutes of hearing the first note sung, it started to dawn on me that the show was Just Another Pop Contest, each more forgettable as the next.

Over the course of the weekend, if it wasn’t for an appearance from Rihanna, I may well have forgotten the show had been on at all.

Thinking about it, I can’t remember much about the many hours devoted to X Factor. Lloyd had stolen canes from a blind man, Joe brought the house down with an Elton John number (surely leaving the entire viewing population to mutter ‘He’s going to win this isn’t he?‘), Cowell called Louis a black cloud and… ummm… Olly still has a face like a fat man’s ankle. That’s it. I can’t remember a single other thing.

The X Factor has gone from being startling, funny, arresting television to the equivalent of a mind eraser. They should show this whole 2009 run to inmates in Guantanamo and they’ll soon be bumbling, dribbling idiots like me.

About the author

I'm Mof Gimmers.

I've been writing about TV for a long time. I love it and loathe it in equal measures. I'm pretty sure the TV feels the same away about me too.
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