Jamie's Family Christmas really is with the family

Slagging Jamie Oliver off is too easy. So easy and predictable is it, that it’s borderline lazy. Most critics’s default setting is to give Jamie a kicking. Slating him is easier than tearing mouse ears in tree-shredders.

However, sometimes, Mr Oliver makes it impossible to do anything else, as seen in last night’s Jamie’s Family Christmas (Channel 4).

While it’s obvious that the hipster chef is doing something right (ie, Making lots of money from television shows, books and restaurants… and showing absolutely no sign of slacking up), it’s also clear that there’s things he’ll always get wrong.

Last night, I watched him make a load of food. Some of it, granted, looked ace. However, I’m easy to please. Pretty much anyone with even the slightest skill in the kitchen can impress me. My lack of ability when poaching eggs is nothing short of staggering. I swirl the water, pop in an egg and HEY PRESTO! Out comes something that looks like a squid that’s been involved in a dreadful accident with an underwater combine harvester. The yolk meanwhile somehow manages to remove itself from the poaching process, grown legs and decided to hide in the extractor fan.

So away from cookery skills is where I judge my foodie TV shows… and this is where Oliver tends to fall down.

Christmas with Jamie is all about the family, right? So, in TV terms, this means getting them all to come into his little food grotto, complete with far too many decorations (it was like looking into the wet-dream of a pair of Victorian bloomers) to come and cook with him, one-by-one.

We met his wife (carry their baby in her arms… no jokes here… the poor thing can’t even comprehend its own vision, so it would be cruel to slag it off) who we discovered liked gravy. We met his dad who feels like children shouldn’t have any spare time. We met his nana, who we discovered is lovely in the face of being called ‘Tiger’ all the time… unless of course, she really is called Tiger.

Most importantly, we met his sister. Now, Jamie Oliver’s sister is a seemingly pleasant lady. She’s clearly not in the habit of playing up to her brother, even when on camera. She hassled him about his choices and gave him a dig in the brains when he was being too cheffy… all that good stuff that siblings do to annoy you.

However, what kept bugging me was that they were seemingly from completely different classes. She was quite prim and middle classy… which doesn’t work when you listen to Gor Blimey! Jamie. You don’t think he’s been putting it on do you?

Oh.

Anyway, the whole thing felt like it was rammed down my throat a bit… which, I suppose, is what Christmas has become. I suppose the whole thing wasn’t too bad, but already, I’m sick of TV chefs giving me stupid advice that I’ll never follow anyway.

About the author

I'm Mof Gimmers.

I've been writing about TV for a long time. I love it and loathe it in equal measures. I'm pretty sure the TV feels the same away about me too.
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