The boring news from the world of media is that ITV have bought the rights to GMTV. Really, there’s only a trace amount of people who watch television who like to keep up with the movers and shakers behind the scene. For the most part, we like nothing more than to sit down and watch stuff – to hell with whoever the commissioner is or damn the eyes of the director.
Generally, we just don’t care.
However, in the case of GMTV, changes behind the scenes could mean one of two things happening.
The first is that it could get an editorial overhaul. This means that ITV could well look to something a little more stern and meaty first thing in the morning. Effectively, they’ve looked at BBC Breakfast and thought ‘Hang on! We’re like Cuddles and Orville compared to those guys!‘
Of course, it won’t be too heavy… that’s because the British viewing public can’t be bothered engaging thair brains at 7am. It’s too early. You may as well have a screen that flashes the word “NEWS IS HAPPENING – WE’LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER… HAVE A NICE DAY AT WORK” while the soothing sounds of The Carpenters plays you through each disgusting slurp of your porridge oats.
The second thing that could happen… but is less likely… is that ITV simply scrap the whole thing. For my money, that could well be the best option.
It’s only because our minds are so addled first thing in the morning that ITV has been able to get away with showing such dross on our screens. I mean, someone, somewhere has put forward the idea that Eamonn Holmes is a good person to have on a screen… ever. If that’s not a death-knell, I don’t know what is.
In Lorraine Kelly, we’ve got someone genuinely warm and harmless, if slightly irritating at times. For my money, they could scrap the whole breakfast format and simply install a set of cameras in her house and we’ll tune in to watch her potter about her kitchen, singing along to the radio and burning her toast and we’ll mirror her morning and begin to say “Oh dearie me!” in a Scottish accent like it’s a new catchphrase. We’ll all fart in unison together and a nation will bond over monumental, but refreshingly honest, banality.