Archer: The Rock

Thursday 8 April 2010 at 10.00pm on Fiver

The acerbic, ribald and outrageously funny adult animation continues. In this episode, Malory charges Archer and Lana with a mission to steal a priceless diamond from San Marino Palace. But the success of the operation is jeopardised by a strike at ISIS headquarters.

Archer and Lana are on a mission to infiltrate San Marino Palace and steal a valuable diamond in a bid to highlight the building’s security defects. “If we show San Marino the flaws in their palace security, they’ve agreed to hire us as security consultants,” Malory tells them. The operation is a success, but Malory is furious to learn that palace officials have decided to give the contract to a rival company.

Not to be outdone, Malory decides to teach the palace a lesson. “We’ll see who’s smirking when ISIS steals that diamond for real,” she says. Lana, however, is less than thrilled to be given the assignment of penetrating the palace for a second time. “You want us to break back into the palace which now has the insane amount of security we recommended?” she asks.

Cyril, meanwhile, has accidentally let slip to Pam that he intends to propose to Lana, and has even bought a ring for the occasion. “I wanna surprise Lana, so I need you to notbe your normal, compulsively blabby self,” he says. “Have I blabbed about you and Cheryl?” Pam retorts. “She keeps seducing me!” Cyril protests. When Pam mocks his choice of ring, Cyril explains that a brown diamond is all he can afford on his meagre salary. His words put an idea in Pam’s head. “We all make shit,” she says. “What we should do is unionise!”

The ISIS workers vote to go on strike until Malory agrees to raise their salaries. “Listen to your hearts, because deep down you know they’re exploiting us,” Cyril tells the crowd. Pam and Cyril lead the staff on a picket line outside ISIS headquarters. Without the help of their support staff, Archer and Lana face a tough job infiltrating San Marino Palace. The only useful equipment Archer can find in the armoury is a set of night-vision goggles and a pair of spades. “We are totally unprepared for this mission,” Lana says.

Archer and Lana head to San Marino and attempt to break into the palace under cover of darkness. Archer is dismayed to find himself up against an army of identically clad, turtleneck-sporting security guards. “I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana,” he says, “but I was the first to recognise its potential as a tactical garment. Tactical turtleneck – the tactle-neck!”

When the guards turn their spotlights on Archer and his night-vision goggles, the agent is temporarily blinded. Lana fights a rearguard battle to rescue her ex and escape the palace. Unfortunately, the pair cannot be evacuated by air support because the ISIS staff are still on strike. When Cyril hears of Lana’s predicament, he urges Malory to come to an agreement with the strikers. Will the workers unite behind Archer and Lana, or will they not be moved?

 

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