Throng

I can’t get that damned Ole Bamboo song out of my head… it’s driving me crazy. However, despite Charlie’s dancing resembling someone with a turtle head poking through in the line for the loos, they passed the dance task and celebrated like it was 1999.

Perhaps it’s just me but I don’t think I could get that worked up just because I’d won a shopping budget that BB say is luxury but which, at £5 a head per day, doesn’t seem all that luxurious to me, but hey ho. And it’s not like they’ve had to live on ‘rations’ yet either, other than the first few days when they ate a lot of stew and porridge.

"Hon-estly, me, I am shocked... truly, howeffer, please put your nipply bits away. This I am begging you"

However, last night’s highlights show had me wishing that Sree had been up for eviction. He’s just way too clingy and annoying and his attitude to Noirin is becoming stalkerish. When he was lurking around in his shades and eviction cardi while Noirin was being ‘chatted up’ by the slimy Marcus, he looked like he might put a pet rabbit on low simmer any minute.

Marcus awoke to shouts of "Gettem on!"

It got worse too when Marcus – who really is a gross git – was trying to get Noirin to show him her nipples in exchange for a can of cider. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do still feel a tad bit sorry for Sree’s unrequited love, but he may as well just pee on her tomcat styly and pronounce, “Now, you are mine. You are covered in my urine, hon-estly, howeffer, I will only lock you up during the day...”

He really is getting out of hand and Noirin has obviously adopted a policy of be-horrible-to-him-and-he’ll-bog-off, but it’s apparently not working. He’s still touching her at every opportunity and still rambling on incomprehensibly making analogies that make no sense whatsoever. Things like, “Personally, me, I am like tree, you, you are like rain, at your heart, hon-estly, I know you are golden but howeffer, I am tree, like Sree and you are watery and wet, hon-estly.”

I know he hasn’t actually said that, but he does say equally as meaningless stuff and it’s getting to be rather a drag now. As is his continual staring at himself in mirrors and trying to look cool. He just makes himself look lounge-lizardy. If he had a shirt open to his belly button and a medallion, he’d be the living embodiment of sleaze. Yuck.

However, his sorrow over Noirin enabled us to see a kinder, softer side to Lisa during her comforting of him. He told her in convoluted terms how he didn’t want his beloved to lower herself by swinging coat hangers off her nips for the sake of a can of cider – and sleazy Marcus’s titillation. He cried heartily on Lisa’s manly shoulders as she advised he just keep away from Noirin in future and give up on his puppy dog crush.

He made efforts to do so later on when he approached Noirin in the bedroom and tried to give her a telling off and a “I’m so disappointed in you” speech, which she was rightly having none of. She accused him of judging her, he denied it then he wished her luck – randomly and for no good reason – and departed to his own bed. He really is weird.

"Yez, iz true. I just ate a small rodent. Was good... I like to eat live things"

Moving on and Angel decided to give up on her hunger strike last night after being advised that she could be booted out if she collapses or something. She clearly hadn’t given that much thought but you could see the penny dropping as Noirin explained that BB could be ruthless in that regard. Get malnutrition and you’re out. Oooo harsh. But it did the trick and Angel told how she was going to be eating normally again and how she enjoyed eating with others…

She hadn’t done that for more than 10 years she tearfully told BB, and she’d found she liked company at mealtimes. Well Angel, stop sucking raw eggs! You may find that magically, people will be happy to eat alongside you then.

"Our father, who art in my mansion, please buy me a personality, amen"

We also saw Freddie/Halfwit continuing his campaign to be crowned Most Obnoxious Tosser 2009. During the rehearsals for the dance task, he didn’t think the others were showing enough effort as they sat around talking or eating so he made “a humble suggestion” that they should all at least pretend to be looking busy, even though they aren’t. He seemed to think that by prefixing his statement with the word ‘humble’ nobody would accuse him of being a jumped up little turd, but it didn’t work and Kris told him that he couldn’t bear the sound of his voice and asked him to go away.

So he went round everyone else and did his, “Can I make a humble suggestion?” routine which pretty much everybody ignored.

So will he be the one who’s ousted tonight or will it be Cairon? Personally, me, I wish both of them would go, howeffer, I’d like Sree to accompany them. I reckon Noirin’s going to nominate Sree next week so perhaps he’ll face the chop then. And with that, I’m offski for the weekend but I’ll be back on Monday with a round-up of the weekend’s events in the house. Have a good one!