Throng

Yep, he's toast alright...

Yes it’s true. The annoying and super smug Kenny has left the house this morning. Apparently, at 5am, he jumped over the wall aided by Marcus who told him he was doing “the honourable thing”. Tools, both of them. So how is that going to affect this week’s voting? I bet BB bosses are in a tizz about that right now!

Anyway, onto a recap of last night’s BB highlights show and, as I suppose was inevitable, Rodrigo’s halo has well and truly slipped for me. All he seems to do is harp on and on and on a bit more about his rows with Charlie… and then he goes into the diary room for a cry.

I really believed from day one that our Brazillian Fez-lookalike was in with a very good chance of winning, but in the last couple of weeks, he seems to have done little other than taking his and Charlie’s stupid games too far and bawling about it – and a million other things – to BB. We saw him a while back lobbing a bottle of cooking oil at Charlie which could well have hit him in the face. If it had, Rodrigo would no doubt have been chucked out there and then. And not content to leave it at that, he then emptied the oil onto Charlie’s bed.

That incident put a big dent in his popularity with me anyway, but last night, watching him going round all the other housemates trying to drum up sympathy over Charlie swearing at him, I just wanted to go down to Borehamwood and shake him. The housemates are all clearly bored of his wouldn’t-let-it-lie attitude as well because when he yet again set off saying, “He should not speak to me like this”, everyone to a man groaned and told him to shut up.

However, onto other news from last night’s show and I was very pleased when Kenny was reduced to blubbing at the prospect that Karly might be playing away while he’s in the house. Maybe it was that which prompted him to do one today. It all began when BB asked him to locate some of Karly’s contraceptive pills that she’d apparently left there. He looked but couldn’t find them and then went into the diary room to explain that Karly’s wanting her pills back made him think she was being unfaithful.

Cue tears – which could well have been of the crocodile variety – as he got a taste of his own faithless medicine. It’s clearly ok for him to flirt for England with Sophie and Noirin but not ok for Karly to be anything but his lapdog. I hope she’s sleeping with half of London personally, just to teach the smug git a lesson.

Bea had decided that she wants to take Kenny “under my wing” and show him what life's like for “ordinary” people. She wants him to ditch the bodyguards and shun his life of insular wealth in order to take £30 with him to a club, drink halves of Cider all night and just have a good time. And despite the fact that Kenny agreed this would be a good idea, he’s about as likely to do that as David is to turn straight; a total non-starter in other words.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll go and eat Tom

Also, Marcus is still acting like Noirin’s own personal bodyguard and irritating cling-on, and it’s becoming totally pathetic now. Her reactions to him are likewise. Since he can’t be her actual boyfriend, he’s now taken on the role of protective father figure or something and finally, praise be, the other housemates are starting to take the pee out of him for it.

I know that may be harsh but he so needs to stop being such a tool over her. He follows her around all the time, censoring who she can speak to and when, and for some ludicrous reason that I still can’t fathom, Noirin’s letting him! I can only assume she loves the attention and the sad, fawning worship that oozes from him. Eugh.

Anyway, they got their latest task which was really the same task they had based on Italy but this time, based on Greece. And it’s tedious. And I doubt they’re going to pass it. However, on the BB site on Channel 4 today, I read that actually, the passing or not is down to Halfwit. Here’s what it says…

“Big Brother doesn't have big horns growing out of the top of Big Brother's head. Nor does Big Brother have a long tail, or carry a fork of fire. But just because Big Brother doesn't look like the devil, doesn't mean Big Brother isn't a devil. Or a genius.

"Over the past couple of days, Big Brother has had the housemates compete in a series of Tasks – Stavros Flatley, Kebabs, Changing the Guard – in order to fill the fridge and the larder. But it's all been a sham – a dirty trick! None of the Tasks the housemates have been competing in count for anything other than for Big Brother's amusement. What a shocker!

"The actual Task is all in the hands of Halfwit… As Halfwit is Zeus, the Task rests solely on his shoulders. And for the Task, he must choose housemates to compete against each other in a series of three challenges: Strength, Weight Lifting and Wealth. For the Strength Task, Halfwit chose Marcus and Thomas for an arm wrestling match which Thomas must win to pass the Task.

"For the Weight Lifting Task, Halfwit again chose Marcus and Thomas, but for this Task Marcus must win to pass the Task. For the Wealth Task, Halfwit chose Siavash to compete against Kenneth in a contest of assessing the value of items set before them. Siavash must win the challenge in order to pass the Task Fairly straightforward as Tasks go, but there was a grim warning from Big Brother...

'If you reveal the details of the Secret Shopping Task to any other housemate, you will fail this week's Shopping Task. Do you understand?'

'I understand' replied Halfwit. 'It is strictly forbidden for you to reveal any details of this Diary Room conversation with any of your housemates. If you do so, you will fail this week's Shopping Task. Do you understand?' added Big Brother. 'I understand' replied Halfwit again before leaving the Diary Room with the world on his shoulders.”

I cannot wait for the next couple of days worth of shows! Will they call of Friday’s eviction? Will Halfwit pass the task? Will Rodrigo go one day without crying and will Lisa actually bite anyone? She’s angry enough that she was nominated so I wouldn’t rule it out.

Join me again tomorrow for a dissection of tonight’s show.