human guinea pigs (4/8)

Dan, Ollie, Nicky, Mike and Kirby are the Human Guinea Pigs –five best mates who take pleasure in performing outrageous stunts and hurting themselves. Now they are putting their stupidity to good use to solve a range of scientific conundrums with the help of Professor Stuart Milligan, who pushes the boys to their limits in the pursuit of knowledge. As the guinea pigs are submitted to various tests, the professor explains what is happening to their bodies using animated images. Today’s programme examines the effects of a car crash on the human body. Ever wondered what it is like to be in a car crash? The main experiment in this edition, entitled ‘Car Karashy’, investigates the different forces to which a body is subjected in a collision. Health and safety regulations mean that the pigs are not allowed to be in a real crash, so Professor Milligan helpfully recreates the same forces in other ways – lucky pigs!

The boys will be demonstrating how the safety equipment in a car works, which can all be explained through physics. The pigs are taken to a karate dojo, where they meet Loughborough University lecturers Andy and Dr Pain –who both happen to have black belts in karate! The pigs are then kitted out, one at a time, with speciallydesigned suits that use the same principles as a car’s crash-absorbing technology. Made out of a super-dense foam, the suits absorb the energy from any crashes the pigs suffer, making sure their internal organs are kept intact.

Andy and Dr Pain take turns practising their moves on the pigs –and hold nothing back after Ollie insults them! The suit acts like a car bumper, which has great shock-absorbing properties. The energy is transferred from Andy’s foot through the suit and into Nicky, resulting in him flying across the floor. According to Professor Milligan, this is “a perfect example of the first law of thermodynamics in action”.

Later on, the guinea pigs are on a rugby pitch, where they are going to recreate a multi-car pileup using Nicky, Ollie and a group of rugby players. Nicky is small of frame and will represent a motorbike, whereas Ollie is larger and will represent a car. The rugby players form a semicircle around each pig and then pound into him from a number of angles.

Ollie is first to don the suit and face the crowd, and is immediately hit hard from behind. As Ollie is unaware of what is going to happen and therefore unable to brace himself, his body moves faster than his head and he consequently suffers a minor example of a common car-crash injury: whiplash. He is in a fair amount of pain – but why? It is because he is absorbing all of the pain in one part of his body – the point of impact –which, in this case, is his ribcage. The rugby players, however, are able to absorb the energy into the whole of their bodies.

Nicky is not happy about taking part in the experiment after seeing what the rugby squad did to Ollie. “Every part of me is telling me not to do this,” he whines. So why is it necessary for Nicky to repeat the experiment?

Professor Milligan explains that because Nicky is smaller, it is important to see where the energy goes when he is hit. Like a motorbike in a real crash, Nicky travels further on impact due to his lower body mass absorbing less energy than Ollie’s. In the space of half an hour, the guinea pigs sustain a broken collarbone, a possible rib fracture and whiplash – proving that they are truly stupid for taking part in such a dangerous experiment! Also in tonight’s programme, Kirby comes face to face with a ghost in order for Professor Milligan to explain the science behind goose pimples; the pigs are tested for ESP and a ten-year-old girl outshines the pigs in a sugary endurance test.