Strictly Come Dancing is in danger of overkill. This weekend, three whole hours of the BBC's primetime slot was dedicated to a bunch of people dancing around to cabaret music.
In the head-to-head with The X Factor, I can only see one winner. You see, Cowell and Co look big budget and knowingly trashy. Every penny spent on the show pumps out of the gogglebox at a rate of knots. It is impervious to criticism and ploughs away with the glamorous girl judges in tow... not once apologising for them.
Strictly, meanwhile, toe-curlingly embraced the attacks on Alesha at the weekend with Brucie doing the TV equivalent of "Aw, give us a cuddle." Then, proceeded to stand there looking like he'd lost his meds for what felt like a whole weekend.
You see, Strictly Come Dancing has been a huge ratings hit and bosses at the BBC have figured that more of the show will only serve to delight TV audiences. It simply isn't true. There's simply too much of the show to take in.
Come Saturday night, I felt like I needed a Strictly stomach-pump.
The show is purposefully saccharine and glitzy... but like icing on a cake, too much of it and you'll puke up your guts.
Strictly has been made longer, not by being innovative, but rather, by padding. Instead of watching celebrities make tits of themselves (or, in some cases, surprise us with how good they are), we're now faced with needless sequences of the professional dancers arsing around with a lengthy routine and, worse still, a guest spot by some Radio Two Approved Artiste while a couple of professional dancers reclaim something last seen in Rick Wakeman on ice.
It's awful.
The problems are mounting up in what is a reasonably fun show and changes are needed. Alesha can stay because, well, she's a nice enough human and doesn't look out of her depth. Craig Bag O'Revels needs to realise that being a crank all the time isn't actually needed and Brucie... well... someone needs to put him to bed. He should've been tucked up ages ago.
Next to The X Factor, Strictly is looking like a trouser press in the middle of an iPhone shop.
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