Delia’s Classic Christmas

There are a lot of idiots out there who believe that Christmas only truly begins when they hear “Holidays are coming… holidays are coming” from those shitawful Coca-Cola commercials. I mean, what kind of idiot would mark the beginning of Christmas by some TV scheduling?

Me. That’s who.

Y’see, Christmas is a nightmare for a misanthrope like me. Much of the Yule is forced joy, like horrific team-building exercises with work. I grin through inane chatter, chow down on good food, but too much of it, giving me mad indigestion… everyone thrills at having nothing to do for a few days and settling down to watch the most crappy, saccharine films on the box with heating on full tilt. All the while, I get fidgety and wish that I was doing something, anything else.

Then out come the godforsaken boardgames.

However, despite all this grumpery, Christmas can put a weird spell on you. Last night, Delia’s Classic Christmas (BBC Two) pulled me straight out of a (headcold induced) slump.

You’d think that Christmas, with the addition of a TV cook, would be enough to make me go postal (click here to read my views on Chefnic Cleansing). However, Delia isn’t your average TV cook.

Whilst the rest of TV foodie idiots shove morals in our faces like some dual for the highground, Delia simply potters around her kitchen with a load of food that makes your stomach so hungry that it thinks someone slit your throat.

The array of food offered up by Delia last night made me look forward to Christmas. Sadly, it made me look forward to Christmas ’round Delia’s house. Last time I checked, I wasn’t invited. It’s probably a good thing really because she’s no doubt got Sister Wendy ’round and I couldn’t help but take the piss out of her mercilessly (that, or I’m actually worried they’d all turn me Christian).

Whatever.

Last night’s show is compulsory viewing to get you in the mood for Christmas. It’s all rosy cheeked and pungent with herbs and spices, like a good Christmas is (in your mind). Delia is, of course, full of great shortcuts and tips and flicks between tricksy and plain lazy, which is far more honest than every other stupid chef on the box who wants to kill and cook everything ourselves.

Seriously. Catch this show on iPlayer. You’ll be filled with a warm fuzzy feeling… much like the one you get when you’re on the road to getting pissed on mulled wine.

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