Everybody hates Chris

everybody hates chris
everybody hates math (21/22);
everybody hates the last day (22/22)
18.15–19.05

Concluding its second season on Five tonight is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semiautobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. Chris Rock narrates the action, which takes place in the 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-year-old Chris and his family.

In tonight’s first episode, Chris must brush up on his algebra if his class is to have any chance of winning a pizza competition; Julius takes on a less-than-reliable employee; and Tonya gains blackmailing power over Drew when he accidentally breaks Julius’s chair.

Chris’s maths class is buzzing with anticipation over this year’s algebra competition. The class with the best score will win a pizza – but Chris’s wayward grasp of algebra could cost his classmates dear. Chris’s patronising teacher Ms Morello informs him that he needs to raise his game: “If you don’t get algebra, we don’t get pizza,” she says.

When Chris turns to Rochelle for help, she decides to tutor him –despite the fact that her mother, a retired maths teacher, is more qualified. Stubborn Rochelle refuses to ask for help: “I don’t want my mother thinking my kids are dumb,” she says. But before long, Rochelle’s hectoring style is driving Chris to despair: “When I’m working with her, I never learn anything!” he tells Greg. Chris goes behind Rochelle’s back to call on his grandmother’s help, but his progress is arrested when his mother shows up at the apartment. What will Rochelle say about Chris’s defection?

Julius, meanwhile, has hired local spiv Risky to help him with his newspaper delivery business. Unable to make a living selling knocked-off goods, Risky has reluctantly sought out a steady job. But Risky is not one to miss the whiff of a business opportunity, and when he starts using Julius’s van to transport “hot” items, Julius is less than impressed: “I can’t drive around with a truck full of stolen goods!” he exclaims. Can the unlikely pair reach a compromise?

Tonya is another person able to sense a golden opportunity, and when Drew accidentally breaks Julius’s favourite chair, she seizes the chance to blackmail him. Tonya willingly takes the blame for the chair and is forgiven by Julius, only for her to turn on Drew: “You’re going to do whatever I tell you to do,” she says. “And if you don’t, I’m going to talk.” Once again, the hapless Drew finds himself at his little sister’s beck and call.

Tonight’s second episode is the season finale, directed by ‘Fraiser’ star Kelsey Grammer, in which Chris plots revenge on Caruso; Julius has little luck fixing Mr Omar’s sink; and Drew earns Rochelle’s wrath by wearing his graduation robes about the house.

With the last day of term approaching, Chris decides to get his revenge on school bully Caruso for making his life a misery. Chris casts about for ideas until loopy ex-military man Monk advises him to “know your enemy”. To this end, Chris studies Caruso until he learns that the gingerhaired bully is a cat lover: “It was like finding out that Saddam Hussein collected Cabbage Patch Kids!” Chris says. With the help of some cat food and the school thermostat, Chris sets “Operation Caruso Revenge” in motion, and successfully frames his nemesis for a particularly unpleasant prank. But will Chris really have the last laugh?

Elsewhere, Julius is occupied fixing upstairs tenant Mr Omar’s blocked drain, but ends up making the situation worse and gets reported to the housing authority. And Drew cannot resist wearing his cap and gown around the house and out to play, despite Rochelle’s strict orders not to put them on before graduation.

everybody hates
chris everybody hates gambling (19/23);
everybody hates dirty jokes (20/23)
18.00–18.55

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. Chris Rock narrates the action, which takes place in the 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-yearold Chris and his family.

In tonight’s first episode, gambling fever infects the Rock family, as Chris finds himself in demand when he finds he can accurately predict sporting results; Julius sees a money-making opportunity; and Tonya is desperate to beat Drew at chequers.

When Chris correctly guesses the outcome of a sports game, Doc hires him as his unofficial tipster: “You just keep on saying and I’ll keep on paying,” Doc says. Word soon gets around that “Chrissie the Black” can predict sports results and Chris finds himself with a lucrative sideline – until a threatening Italian bookie warns him to stop: “Your friend Doc needs to get ‘unlucky’ – and he needs to get unlucky tonight,” the bookie says.

Rochelle takes a dim view of gambling, while penny-pinching Julius refuses to bet anything more valuable than a money-off voucher. Yet when Julius hears of this mysterious tipster who can predict match results, he decides to put down $50 – without Rochelle knowing.

Elsewhere, Tonya is fed up of losing at chequers to Drew and cannot stand his boasting. Julius offers some advice: “You’ve got to think before you move – strategise,” he says, and even gives her the $3 she needs to get a rematch. Tonya’s new approach pays off, but when Rochelle finds her and Drew arguing over the winnings, and a bookie comes to the door looking for Chris, she uncovers the gambling that has been going on under her nose: “I don’t understand this – everybody in this house knows how much I hate gambling and yet everybody in this house is gambling!” she cries. When Chris says that he has ended his gambling ways by lying to Doc about who is going to win the next match, Julius is panic stricken. What will become of his $50?

In tonight’s second instalment, Chris develops a penchant for telling dirty jokes; Rochelle’s mother comes to stay; and Drew has girl trouble.

Chris makes an eye-opening discovery one night when he creeps out of bed to hear his parents laughing at an adult comedy record. The outrageous jokes make a big impression on Chris: “A lot of kids would get in trouble sneaking out of bed to try and listen to dirty jokes,” he says. “I got a career!” Before long Chris is repeating the jokes in school, and quickly learns how popular he can make himself – especially with the bullies: “For the first time, I realised a good joke could stop a beat down,” he says.

However, when Doc lends Chris a set of comedians’ albums to listen to, the budding comic runs across a routine about the “seven words you can’t say on TV”. Chris starts saying these shocking words at school – but his popularity wanes even as his notoriety soars: “Dirty jokes were one thing – dirty words were a whole new ball game,” he reflects. Things get out of control when he is reported and sent home. What will his parents make of his comedy efforts?

Also in this episode, Rochelle is driven mad when her mother comes to stay and takes over all the household chores, so she decides to set her up on a date. And Drew does not know how to deal with the attentions of a girl he does not like.

everybody hates chris
everybody hates djs (17/23);
everybody hates baseball (18/23)
18.20–19.10

Continuing its second season on Five is comedianChris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. Chris Rock narrates the action, which takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-yearold Chris and his family.

In tonight’s first episode, Chris gets a big break on the turntables when the neighbourhood DJ is arrested; and Julius is reluctant to take Drew to a magic show due to a bizarre phobia.

Chris is at a neighbourhood party when the local DJ, Hilly Hill, is arrested. Claiming he can step in, Chris offers his services to a doubting party organiser, who makes Chris pay a dollar to go on the decks. “If you are telling the truth, I’ll give you it back,” he says. Chris impresses the host and the party guests with some wizardry on the wheels of steel, and is offered another gig at a party next week. The only problem is, he has no equipment!

Chris sets off on a fruitless mission to buy some decks –all the stores in the area have sold out. The only place he can find a set is in the local pawn shop. Chris is forced to pay through the nose for them, leaving him with no money to buy any records. “I usually get robbed like this in alleys,” he grumbles. Chris then realises he lacks other essential hip-hop paraphernalia –namely a mixer, headphones, some trainers and a Kangol hat. He returns to the pawn shop with some of his possessions in order to complete his DJ image.

Chris then borrows his mum’s prized James Brown LP –and proceeds to scratch it on his new decks. “I hope I skip town before my mom hears this record skipping,” he says. Chris’s day gets even worse when he bumps into Hilly Hill on the street –who is now out of jail and reinstated as next week’s party DJ. What is Chris to do now?

Also in this episode, budding magician Drew is eager to attend a free conjuring show at the local toy store. Rochelle tells her son that Julius will takehim, much to her husband’s consternation. What Rochelle does not know is that Julius is harbouring a secret and embarrassing phobia – rabbits! Will this now jeopardise Drew’s chances of going to the show?

In tonight’s second episode, Chris is faced with a dilemma; and Rochelle lets Tonya down.

Chris is delighted when his cute neighbour Tasha invites him to the movies on Saturday to watch ‘Back to the Future’. However, Chris’s ne’er-do-well uncle Michael pays Julius a visit and offers him free tickets to the Mets game on the same night. After Michael convinces a suspicious Julius that there are no catches, Julius is ecstatic that he will be able to escort his two sons to the game. Drew then finds out that Chris would rather go to the movies, and tells his brother that Julius will be devastated if he does not go.

“This was gonna be one of the best days of his life,” says Drew. What will Chris do –risk hurting his dad or miss a golden opportunity with Tasha? Also in this episode, Rochelle forgets to send off for a picture of Billy Ocean that Tonya badly wants, forcing her to take drastic measures to cover up her mistake.

everybody hates chris
everybody hates cutting school (15/23);
everybody hates chain snatching (16/23)
18.00–18.55

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. Chris Rock narrates the action, which takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-yearold Chris and his family.

In tonight’s first episode, Chris and Greg cut school so they can catch the hot new movie ‘Ghostbusters’; Julius has a trying day at the DMV; and Rochelle embarrasses Drew and Tonya when she helps out at their school book fair.

When Chris is not working hard at school or doing chores at home, his favourite pastime is going to the movies. He and Greg have seen all the big releases – except ‘Ghostbusters’. But with the film only playing for another week, the boys do not have much time left to see it – and the only option is to skip school and head for the dollar theatre. Greg is excited and a little scared at the prospect of blemishing his perfect attendance record, but Chris convinces him that one day will not make a difference. Unfortunately, ruminates narrator Chris, “Who knew that in the future this one unexplained absence would keep Greg from getting into Harvard?”

When their teacher, Ms Morello, announces that she will be away from school for a day, Chris and Greg seize their chance and sneak out at lunchtime: “Today’s special was running like hell!” Reasoning that the only people who will notice their absence are themselves, they head for the dollar theatre but are soon questioned by a suspicious cinema employee. Skirting round the fact that they are not at school by claiming that it is a “black holiday”, they manage to get inside… where they are horrified to spot Ms Morello in front of them. Are they about to be busted?

Also in this episode, Julius is having an extremely irritating day at the DMV, where he is attempting to renew his driving licence; Rochelle annoys Drew and Tonya when she ‘helps out’ at their school bookfair and ends up getting arrested; and Chris’s day off causes him to miss an exciting development at school.

In tonight’s second episode, Chris gets himself mixed up in the local crime epidemic of ‘chain snatching’; Rochelle is furious when she discovers that Julius secretly owns a credit card; and Tonya attempts to win Billy Ocean tickets.

The current fashion craze in the Bed-Stuy neighbourhood is gold chains –but they bring with them the accompanying craze of stealing them. When Chris sees local thug Malvo about to snatch one from a lady, he shouts a warning and she runs away, much to Malvo’s annoyance. “You owe Malvo a gold chain!” he informs Chris. With chains costing around $300, Chris starts to wonder if he is going to have to become a chainsnatcher himself to avoid Malvo’s wrath…

Meanwhile, Rochelle is incandescent with rage after discovering that Julius has had a credit card since 1970, and starts to wonder what else he is hiding. She confronts him and asks “Dr Jekyll and Mr Hides-Things-From-His-Wife” just what he’s up to –but the answer is surprising.

Also in this episode, Tonya is desperate to win tickets to see Billy Ocean but is having no joy. Can Drew’s famous lucky touch change things?

everybody hates chris
everybody hates the substitute (13/23);
everybody hates snow day (14/23)
18.05–19.00

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. Chris Rock narrates the action, which takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-yearold Chris and his family.

In tonight’s first episode, Chris has to deal with an overzealous substitute teacher who pushes him to do better; Tonya finds a new way to get what she wants; and Julius clashes with his neighbour.

When Chris’s patronising teacher Mrs Morello goes on sabbatical, she is replaced by a whole string of substitutes. “We’d had just about every kind of substitute we could think of,” Chris says, “except one: a black one.” The intensely clever Mr Newton takes over the class, and singles out Chris for special treatment. He decides that Chris’s B–grade could be better: “Starting tomorrow,” he says, “I’m going to get some brains into that head of yours!” And so Chris is forced into a brutal regime of learning – and is even made to wear a T-shirt bearing a ‘B–’ logo to remind him of his grade.

Chris’s misery is compounded when Mr Newton sets the class a test – and warns him that if he does not score in the 90th percentile, he will have to repeat the year. Chris decides there is only one solution: “Since I was tired of getting heat from Mr Newton, the best thing to do was to get him fired.”

Also in this episode, Tonya hits on a scheme for getting her own way, by claiming that Drew has hit her. And Julius has problems with his neighbour, Mr Omar, who keeps asking to use his phone.

In tonight’s second episode, Chris finds himself snowbound at school with only his principal for company; Mr Omar babysits Tony and Drew; and Rochelle is held up at gunpoint on the subway.

A blizzard descends on New York and closes all the schools. Unfortunately for Chris, he only learns this when he arrives at school to find no one there – except for his peculiar principal, Mr Edwards (Jason Alexander, ‘Seinfeld’). The principal says he cannot let Chris go home, because he needs parental consent – and with the phone lines down, there is no way to get it.

Mr Edwards decides to teach Chris as if it were a normal school day, and even takes a full class register, despite the fact there is only one student in the room. Chris is especially dismayed when Mr Edwards sets him a quiz on Pearl Harbor: “Consider it a surprise,” Mr Edwards suggests – “just like Pearl Harbor.” Finally Chris begs to be allowed out of class: “I’m the only person in the entire city that’s in school,” he says. “Why should I take classes?” A defeated Mr Edwards allows Chris to leave – only for him to find the weather is impassable. Chris and Mr Edwards are stuck with only each other for company.

Also in this episode, Julius ventures into the snow to bring Chris home when he finds out that his school has been cancelled – leaving Mr Omar in charge of Drew and Tonya. Mr Omar’s hopes of sneaking out and returning to his lady friend upstairs are dashed when he is lured into a game of Monopoly. And across town, Rochelle is held up at gunpoint on a subway train that has stopped in the tunnel. As arguments break out between the passengers, Rochelle takes the time to give the gunman a piece of her mind: “Didn’t your mother teach you better than to go around robbing people?” she asks. Has the robber bitten off more than he can chew?

everybody hates chris
everybody hates eggs (11/23);
everybody hates hall monitors (12/23)
18.00–19.00

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. Chris Rock narrates the action, which takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-yearold Chris and his family.

In tonight’s first episode, Chris is given an unusual homework assignment, while Julius tries to find out why the electricity bill is so high.

Chris is about to fulfil one of Rochelle’s biggest fears for her children – bringing a baby home. Fortunately, it is just Chris’s latest school project. His teacher has divided the class into pairs and given each set of ‘parents’ an egg to look after in lieu of a real baby, but Chris is a ‘single father’ and has been given a brown egg so he can ‘relate’. Shaking his head in despair, Chris takes his ‘child’ home with every intention of leaving it in the fridge for the week.

When Rochelle finds out that Chris is planning on cheating, she is appalled. “You are gonna do this assignment and you are going to do it right,” she informs her son sternly. And to ensure that he gets the full child-care experience, Rochelle adds touches like waking Chris up in the middle of the night to ‘feed’, ‘change’ and ‘wind’ his baby.

Chris embraces the challenge and takes the egg with him wherever he goes. Greg, however, takes a more whole-hearted approach, building a crib for his egg and arguing with its ‘mother’ about whether it should go to Harvard or Yale.

Disaster strikes for Chris when he briefly takes his eyes off his egg at work and it goes missing. He must now come up with an inventive way of covering up his negligence, but can he pull it off?

Also in this episode, Julius is puzzled when the electricity bill is higher than normal and goes around trying to save power wherever he can, including taking a Polaroid of the inside of the fridge so Rochelle will not have to have the door open to see what’s inside. He finally gets to the root of the problem when it transpires that a terrified Tonya has been sleeping with the lights on – could Drew’s stories about werewolves possibly have something to do with this?

In tonight’s second episode, Chris gets a taste of power when he becomes a hall monitor, Julius upsets Rochelle when he gives her some unwanted advice, and Tonya realises that her friends are more interested in Drew than her.

When Chris is made a hall monitor, he looks forward to finally getting some respect at school. But as he marches the halls with his citation book and armband, Chris realises that these new accessories are not going to make the other kids treat him any differently. This becomes readily apparent when two boys beat him up with his book and bundle him into a locker. But when Chris changes his tactics and introduces a new zero-tolerance approach, students and teachers alike start to wonder if he has gone too far. “You’re like a dog with citation rabies!” explains Greg. “We’re all scared of you!” Can Chris find another way of getting the students to respect him?

At home, Julius has got himself into trouble by daring to make a suggestion to ‘Hurricane Rochelle’ when she comes in ranting about her job. And Tonya tells her friends not to come over to play anymore when she realises that they are more interested in gazing at Drew than hanging out with her. It is up to Drew to work out a solution…

everybody hates chris
everybody hates superstition (9/23);
everybody hates kris (10/23)
18.00–19.00

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. The action takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-year-old Chris and his family.

Chris is a smart kid who relies on his wits to escape the pitfalls of teenage life. His mother, Rochelle, is quirky and bossy, while his father, Julius, works various jobs and worries about cash. Completing the family are Chris’s younger brother Drew and sister Tonya. Chris Rock narrates.

In tonight’s first episode, Julius’s lucky socks seem to work their magic for Chris, and Tonya and Drew conspire to get their parents to buy them the things they want.

When Chris borrows Julius’s garish red and yellow ‘lucky’ socks, things immediately start going his way: he receives a dollar from a mugger, a pretty girl talks to him on the bus, and even the school bullies leave him alone. “Things were going so well, I almost felt white!” Chris declares.

But then Chris wakes up one morning to find his socks –and his luck –gone. “Those socks were stinking up this whole room, so I got them out of here,” Rochelle says. The timing could not be worse: Chris has a history test that day, and has not bothered to study for it. It is down to Julius to dispense some wisdom: “Those socks aren’t lucky,” he tells Chris, before encouraging him to make his own luck. “Do you think it was lucky when Rocky beat Mr T?” he adds. Feeling inspired, Chris draws upon his father’s speech in his history test.

Also in this episode, Tonya wants a pink carpet and Drew wants a new suit, so they decide to try the “oldest parent trick in the book” as Chris describes it: “When one parent says no, just ask the other one!” Will Rochelle and Julius figure it out?

Tonight’s second episode is a Christmas edition, in which Chris struggles with the flu; Julius takes a job as Santa Claus; and Tonya and Drew try to earn good presents.

Chris has entered a scheme at Goldsteins department store to buy top-of-the-line presents for his family, but he still needs to raise $35. Unfortunately, he is coming down with the flu. Desperate to earn the money in time, Chris takes a second job with his dad, only to collapse and end up in hospital. There, he meets a grumpy man called Kris in the bed next to him, who tries to show him that his problems could be worse. But is Chris still delirious from his fever?

Julius, meanwhile, has found a job as the first black Santa Claus at Goldsteins, but his finance conscious remarks do not go down well with the children: “You’re going to bankrupt your entire family just because you want a puppy?” he asks one girl.

Also in this episode, Tonya and Drew make themselves helpful around the house in a last ditch attempt to earn themselves good presents. But Rochelle and Julius are gobsmacked when they discover their wish list of presents: “They must think I’m Santa Claus for real!” Julius cries.

everybody hates chris
everybody hates promises (7/23);
everybody hates thanksgiving (8/23)
18.00–19.00

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. The action takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-year-old Chris and his family.

Chris is a smart kid who has to rely on his wits to escape the pitfalls that teenage life invariably throws at him. His sassy mother, Rochelle, is quirky and bossy, while his anxious father, Julius, works various jobs and worries about money. Completing the family are Chris’s younger brother Drew and sister Tonya. Chris Rock narrates.

In the first episode of tonight’s double helping, Chrisfaces impeachment for failing to deliver on his campaign promises, and Rochelle’s brother moves in after being kicked out by their mother.

Chris is finding that being class president is not aseasy as he thought it would be, and has discovered that everyone expects him to keep the promises with which he recklessly peppered his election campaign. “I told them everything they wanted to hear,” he muses, recalling the vows he made to instigate an extra holiday and ensure that all book reports must be about novels that have been made into movies. “The problem was – they listened.” The angry electorate are so disheartened that they are talking about impeaching Chris, and tenacious school paper reporter Lisa has vowed to get to the bottom of the scandal.

Deciding that the only way he can keep his job is to try and make good on his campaign promises, Chris goes to talk to his teachers to see what he can do. Unfortunately, they inform him that he is merely a figurehead and does not have any power to change anything – so how can he convince the other kids that he is for real?

Also in this episode, Julius is furious when Rochelle’s freeloading brother Michael comes to stay after being kicked out by his mother. Michael pushes his luck by eating the family’s food, wearing Julius’s clothes, watching the TV all day and refusing to go out and look for a job because it is “too cold”. Rochelle keeps promising that he will only be staying for one more night, but when Julius gets home and finds his brother-in-law eating his favourite cheese grits, it is the last straw…

Comedian Wayne Brady guest-stars in tonight’s second episode, as Julius’s irritatingly perfect brother Louis, who comes over for a memorable Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving is Chris’s favourite holiday, as it involves a great deal of eating and sleeping. However, this year’s holiday is shaping up to involve a bit more work than that. Julius’s brother Louis is coming over and Rochelle tells everyone that they are helping with dinner this year, with everyone responsible for one dish. Chris is given the job of making the macaroni cheese –but with this dish being the family’s favourite, Chris is convinced that something is going to go wrong.

Julius stocks up on branded shopping, hoping to impress Louis – the brothers have a history of competing with each other and Julius wants this dinner to be perfect. He wakes the family up at the crack of dawn and takes them through the minuteby-minute schedule he has drawn up for the cooking. “Ten hours till turkey time!”

Unfortunately, the early start has made everyone want a power nap – but when Rochelle also falls asleep and fails to wake everyone up, the smell of burned cheese emanates from the oven! This is just beginning of a litany of disasters that threaten to make this the worst Thanksgiving ever…

everybody hates chris
everybody hates malvo (5/23);
everybody hates the buddy system (6/23)
18.20–19.10

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in Brooklyn, New York. The action takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-year-old Chris and his family.

Chris is a smart kid who has to rely on his wits to escape the pitfalls that teenage life invariably throws at him. His sassy mother, Rochelle, is quirky and bossy, while his anxious father, Julius, works various jobs and worries about money. Completing the family are Chris’s younger brother Drew and sister Tonya. Chris Rock narrates.

The first episode of tonight’s double helping, ‘Everybody Hates Malvo’, finds Chris up against the neighbourhood’s most notorious criminal when Doc’s store gets robbed while Chris is in charge. The local ne’er-do-well, Malvo, orders Chris to hand over the contents of the till. “You better not tell nobody you just got robbed,” he warns Chris, before swiping the pickled eggs and leaving. Fear of reprisals keeps Chris from identifying the robber, even when the police show him a book full of suspects’ photos: “I couldn’t pick out a mugshot because I didn’t want to getshot,” Chris says.

However, Doc knows that Chris is lying when he says he cannot identify the thief and, feeling that he can no longer trust his employee, fires him. Faced with the terrible prospect of having to tell his father that he has lost his job, Chris decides to ask Malvo to return the stolen cash. Unfortunately, his request is met with laughter: “Man, you’re funny!” Malvo says. “You should be a comedian when you grow up!” It is a piece of advice that Chris may well remember, but in the short term, it will not help him get his job back.

Also in this episode, Julius is delighted to bring home a Betamax video recorder. But when Tonya accidentally records over Julius’s beloved soap operas, Julius berates her – only to provoke Rochelle’s displeasure. “You are acting like a child,” she says. Rochelle orders Julius to apologise to his daughter, but he stubbornly refuses.

Tonight’s second episode, ‘Everybody Hates the Buddy System’, is a homage to the classic movie ‘The Defiant Ones’. When new principal Mr Edwards (guest star Jason Alexander, of ‘Seinfeld’ fame) sees Chris being beaten up by school bully Caruso, he hatches an unorthodox scheme to teach them to be friends. His solution is to “figuratively” chain the two of them together using the ‘buddy system’. To this end, he pairs them together on a trip to the Natural History Museum. However, things appear to go horribly wrong when the bus leaves them behind and Chris and Caruso must find their own way back to Brooklyn.

After getting lost on the subway and spending all of their money, Chris has had enough of his ‘buddy’ and abandons him on a train full of threatening black youths. But Chris soon has second thoughts, and when he finally catches up with Caruso, he is surprised to find that he has teamed up with the gang on the train: “In the buddy system, you never leave your buddy!” one of the youths reprimands Chris, before stealing his wallet.

Also in this episode, Rochelle refuses to let Tonya borrow her earrings, so Tonya steals them from her jewellery box. And Drew begs his dad for a replica shirt of his favourite ice hockey player – but has to choose his words carefully when the shirt his dad finds has a glaring spelling mistake.

everybody hates chris

everybody hates elections (3/23);
everybody hates a liar (4/23)
18.20–19.10

Continuing its second season on Five is comedian Chris Rock’s acclaimed semi-autobiographical sitcom set in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighbourhood of Brooklyn, New York. The action takes place in the early 1980s and revolves around the antics of 14-year-old Chris and his family.

Chris (Tyler James Williams) is a smart, happygo-lucky kid who has to rely on his wits to escape the pitfalls that teenage life invariably throws at him. His sassy mother, Rochelle (Tichina Arnold) is quirky and bossy, while his anxious father Julius (Terry Crews) works various jobs and worries about money. Completing the family are Chris’s younger brother Drew (Tequan Richmond) and sister Tonya (Imani Hakim). Chris Rock narrates.

The first part of tonight’s opening double bill is ‘Everybody Hates Elections,’ in which Chris puts all his efforts into winning the class presidency. It proves to be more difficult than he had hoped, however, when Chris realises he will have to write and perform a speech to his electorate. Although he replaces Greg on the ticket with a more popular student, Greg is still around to help Chris behind the scenes and comes up with a campaign poster to help target the “swing voters.” By this Chris thinks he means the white kids. Greg clearly thinks Chris’s best chance of winning is to not feature his face on the posters at all!

When it comes to speech time, Chris thinks he is going to do well –until rival Caruso steals his speech on his way to the podium! “You can’t go out there,” says Greg sadly after Caruso delivers the rousing speech he stole. “You don’t have a speech. You’re going to lose.” “I’m not going to win if I stay back here,” says Chris. His only chance now is to ad-lib his way to class presidency…

Also in this episode, the local funeral director Mr Omar moves in upstairs –and seems to have a string of recently widowed beauties on his arm. Rochelle and Julius are even less impressed when Omar rudely invites himself down for dinner. And Drew finds and spends $10 that Rochelle lost in the apartment –something he may later regret…

In the second episode tonight, ‘Everybody Hates a Liar’, Chris offends Tasha, the pretty girl next door, when he does little to dispel rumours that he and Tasha are an item. Tasha recently moved into the apartment block with her stern grandmother Louise (Whoopi Goldberg). She befriends Chris when he kills a mouse she finds in her closet and pecks him on the cheek for his troubles. Onlooker Jerome takes this as a sign that Chris and Tasha are a couple –something that Chris is not in a hurry to refute! News spreads quickly around the neighbourhood, and soon Chris has a hurt Tasha and a livid Louise to reckon with. Julius tries to explain where Chris went wrong. “If you do something, you should never say anything,” he explains. “If you don’t do something, and you don’t say anything, that means you did something. Even if you did nothing.” Chris is confused!

Also in this episode, Julius must redeem all his trade stamps when he learns that the company who sells them is set to close. And Drew is disconsolate because he cannot seem to win any attention from Rochelle.

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