Thursday 8 April 2010 at 10.00pm on Fiver

The acerbic, ribald and outrageously funny adult animation continues. In this episode, Malory charges Archer and Lana with a mission to steal a priceless diamond from San Marino Palace. But the success of the operation is jeopardised by a strike at ISIS headquarters.

Archer and Lana are on a mission to infiltrate San Marino Palace and steal a valuable diamond in a bid to highlight the building’s security defects. “If we show San Marino the flaws in their palace security, they’ve agreed to hire us as security consultants,” Malory tells them. The operation is a success, but Malory is furious to learn that palace officials have decided to give the contract to a rival company.

Not to be outdone, Malory decides to teach the palace a lesson. “We’ll see who’s smirking when ISIS steals that diamond for real,” she says. Lana, however, is less than thrilled to be given the assignment of penetrating the palace for a second time. “You want us to break back into the palace which now has the insane amount of security we recommended?” she asks.

Cyril, meanwhile, has accidentally let slip to Pam that he intends to propose to Lana, and has even bought a ring for the occasion. “I wanna surprise Lana, so I need you to notbe your normal, compulsively blabby self,” he says. “Have I blabbed about you and Cheryl?” Pam retorts. “She keeps seducing me!” Cyril protests. When Pam mocks his choice of ring, Cyril explains that a brown diamond is all he can afford on his meagre salary. His words put an idea in Pam’s head. “We all make shit,” she says. “What we should do is unionise!”

The ISIS workers vote to go on strike until Malory agrees to raise their salaries. “Listen to your hearts, because deep down you know they’re exploiting us,” Cyril tells the crowd. Pam and Cyril lead the staff on a picket line outside ISIS headquarters. Without the help of their support staff, Archer and Lana face a tough job infiltrating San Marino Palace. The only useful equipment Archer can find in the armoury is a set of night-vision goggles and a pair of spades. “We are totally unprepared for this mission,” Lana says.

Archer and Lana head to San Marino and attempt to break into the palace under cover of darkness. Archer is dismayed to find himself up against an army of identically clad, turtleneck-sporting security guards. “I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana,” he says, “but I was the first to recognise its potential as a tactical garment. Tactical turtleneck – the tactle-neck!”

When the guards turn their spotlights on Archer and his night-vision goggles, the agent is temporarily blinded. Lana fights a rearguard battle to rescue her ex and escape the palace. Unfortunately, the pair cannot be evacuated by air support because the ISIS staff are still on strike. When Cyril hears of Lana’s predicament, he urges Malory to come to an agreement with the strikers. Will the workers unite behind Archer and Lana, or will they not be moved?


Thursday 1 April 2010 at 10.00pm

The acerbic, ribald and outrageously funny adult animation continues. This week, Archer and the ISIS crew jump aboard the airship Excelsiorin order to foil a bomb plot threatening its maiden voyage. Meanwhile, Cyril stows away on the blimp in order to keep an eye on Lana.

Suave Captain Lammers, pilot of the Excelsior, visits ISIS headquarters to request the team’s help after an anonymous caller claims a bomb will be hidden onboard his airship’s first transatlantic flight. Malory immediately agrees to the mission, on one condition – that she be allowed to stay in a first-class suite. The captain is adamant that they are fully-booked, but eventually gives in to Malory’s demands. However, this means that Lana and Archer will have to pose as husband and wife – and share a cabin. Lana is outraged, and begs Malory to let her share her first-class suite. “I need a stateroom to myself – in case I have a… gentleman caller,” Malory claims, staring pointedly at a nervous-looking Captain Lammers.

“I’ve got a terrible, awful, just gut-wrenchingly bad feeling about this,” whines Cyril when he sees the shoebox-sized room and single bed Archer and Lana will be forced to share. Mad with paranoia, Cyril disguises himself as a bellboy so he can stow away on the airship. Meanwhile, Cheryl tricks Pam into boarding the Excelsior, and it promptly leaves with both of them onboard. Cheryl sets about blackmailing Cyril into re-enacting their night of passion, and threatens to tell Lana about their liaison if he fails to comply. “So you’re ruining Cyril’s life because in your dream-the-impossibledream world it’ll make Mr Archer jealous?” asks Pam. “Oh Pamela, you read me like a poem,” Cheryl responds, dreamily – evidently envisioning the moment she finally snares Sterling Archer.

Wracked by guilt, Cyril decides to confess all to Lana. However, when he reaches Lana’s cabin, Cyril finds his girlfriend in her underwear – and a nude Archer hovering in the background. Things go from bad to worse for Cyril when Archer decides to try his hand at gambling with fellow passenger Mr Singh –whom the agent suspects of masterminding the bomb plot, simply because he wears a turban. Archer immediately loses, and leaves the table owing Singh a night with his ‘wife’. He convinces Lana to go to Singh’s room by implying that there is evidence of the bomb hidden in his suite. Archer subsequently directs a half-mad Cyril to Singh’s room, knowing that the sight of Lana with yet another man will push her neurotic boyfriend over the edge.

Meanwhile, Malory confesses that she invented the bomb plot because she was desperate for one of the sold-out suites. But, after spotting eyepatch- wearing co-pilot Lieutenant Krauss emerge from the cargo hold, Archer discovers a huge bomb. Convinced that the German planted it, Lana demands that he disarm the device. “Oh, I get it. The German guy with the scar must be the bad guy,” says Krauss. “Well you know how I got this scar? Saving a Jewish girl from a gang of skinheads.” Lana feels terrible, but tries her luck nonetheless. “Could you be a lamb and disarm it anyway?” she asks Krauss, sweetly. “Ja, probably,” he shrugs, then promptly gets hit by a mystery bullet. But who shot Krauss? And, with the only man equipped to save the day dead, can the bickering ex-lovers stop sniping for long enough to defuse the bomb?


Fiver has acquired a number of hit, new US series for 2010, it was announced today. (THURS).
The updated, drama series Melrose Place kicks off exclusively on Fiver in late January and will be joined by action-packed thriller series Burn Notice in February this year.  Animated spy satire Archer also features exclusively in Fiver’s refreshed line-up of quality, American series, also scheduled for late February.

Jeff Ford, Five’s Managing Director of Digital Channels and Acquisitions, said:  “I’m delighted to add these great titles to a burgeoning slate of quality acquisitions for Fiver.  There is a strong emphasis on slick, fun drama and series for Fiver this year.”
Series one of Melrose Place starts on Wednesday 3rd February and the eighteen, one hour episodes are an updated version of the 1990’s drama series, featuring a group of young adults living in West Hollywood.  Original cast members, including special guest star Heather Locklear, and new residents combine in this modern take on the classic and much-loved series.

The first series of Burn Notice starts on February 25th and the thirteen one hours follow the fortunes of covert operations agent Michael Weston (Jeffrey Donovan), who has been ‘burned’ – had his identity erased, his work history destroyed and his access to his old life taken away.  He has become nobody and has to find out who burned him and why.

Archer, which starts on Fiver on 25th February, is set at an international spy agency where global crises are merely opportunities for its highly-trained operatives to undermine and betray each other.  The ten-episode, half hour, animated series features the voices of Jon Benjamin as suave master spy Sterling Archer, Jessica Walter as his domineering boss and mother, Malory, and Aisha Tyler as his ex-girlfriend Agent Lana Kane.

Fiver has acquired a raft of new shows for its Autumn line-up, including the hit US shows Knight Rider, 10 Things I Hate About You and The City, it was announced today (Thurs).

Fiver continues to go from strength to strength in the ratings, and this July increased its reach to over 17.2 million viewers, which is an all time best for the channel.

Managing Director, Digital Channels and Acquisitions, Jeff Ford, said: “I am delighted that this Autumn we will have an exciting and fun line up of new and exclusive shows for our Fiver audience that truly reflects the change in attitude and energy of the channel.”

The iconic 1980s television classic, Knight Rider from NBC Universal International Television Distribution (18 x 45 mins), comes roaring back to life in this reinvented, updated, super-charged action series. It stars Justin Bruening, Val Kilmer as the voice of KITT, Sydney Tamiia Poitier (daughter of Oscar winning actor Sidney Poitier) and Bruce Davison. The new KITT design is better than ever, equipped with a supercomputer capable of hacking almost any system.

10 Things I Hate About You the original series from ABC Family (10 x 30 mins) will have its first run in the UK on Fiver. Inspired by the cult 1999 film starring Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles, the series focuses on the Stratford sisters Kat and Bianca (Meaghan Martin and Lindsey Shaw), who are two very different people and start their new high school with very contradictory goals.  Kat is strong-willed, a feminist and impatient to make a difference in the world while Bianca is a social butterfly who is more concerned with her looks and popularity.  Ethan Peck, grandson of acting legend Gregory Peck, plays Kat’s love interest Patrick.

MTV scripted reality series The City from MTV Networks International (1 x 90mins , 13 x 30 mins) has the perfect blend of drama and fashion with a true insight into working within a cutting edge fashion label in the heart of New York City. The City is a spin off from the hit reality show The Hills, and sees Whitney Port packing up and moving from the comfort of her hometown in Los Angeles to the bright lights of Manhattan. 

Bridezilla from DCD-owned September Films (23 x60) is a reality series that takes us inside the hectic wedding preparations of brides-to-be who are determined to have their perfect wedding – no matter what.  We witness the tantrums and fights they have with their friends, family and future husband in order to get their wedding just the way they want it.

Finally, The Sexy Ad show will return after a successful first season and will see comedian Spencer Brown bringing his own irreverent style to showcase some of the raciest and most politically incorrect adverts to have emerged from ad-land.

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