Gillian McKeith

You know Gillian McKeith don’t you? Skreeching, vapid, withered old idiot-bag that ferreted around in people’s faecal matter before making them cry using tactics that would make Josef Fritzl blush?

Yeah, that’s her.

The woman who would shout ‘YOU’RE DISGUSTING AND FAT’ at people whilst pointing at coffin chaped giganto choc ices… a woman who would make widows grieve more whilst stirring giant milk cartons with cow thighs… that Gillian McKeith.

Well, she’s back on our TVs. Mercifully, she won’t be appearing on terrestrial channels, but rather, from 10pm Mondays on the Discovery Real Time channel.

Presumably, she’s been hounded out of Britain by people who are sick of her bullying, which means she’ll be taking her shit-in-a-box stylings to America where, presumably, they’re yet to find out she downloaded a certificate to claim she’s a doctor or whatever it was she did.

This new show is called Eat Yourself Sexy, which of course, poses the question that surely, someone who has a show like this presumes that they are a living example of someone who has eaten themselves sexy?

Take one look at this joyless goon and you know that the proof of the pudding is in the eating, meaning that following McKeith’s mandate will more likely see you ending up looking like the pork scratching equivalent of a cartoon witch.

Of course, Stateside, they’ll be perfect participants as they’re generally better at opening up and crying about ‘the journey’ than us lot this side of the pond. This means there’s a very good chance that Eat Yourself Sexy could well go to lows that even those who watched her Brit series couldn’t ever imagine.

Think about that. Gillan McKeith – only worse and encouraged.

*shudder*

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