Go Compare

One skill I’ve noticed over the last few weeks, is people’s ability to quickly pick up a remote control and press mute. Initially, I didn’t give it too much thought as I was probably daydreaming at the time… however… once I’d tuned back into the world, I noticed that everyone has developed a Spidy Sense for the start of those Go Compare commercials.

When the commercial is merely nanoseconds old, people jerk into action and press mute before that hideous wailing begins.

You know the one don’t you?

Of course you do. One look or mention of this putrid, fetid giblet of an advert and your head is filled with faux-opera and a man prancing around wearing Pavarotti’s pickled corpse over his shoulders.

The thing is, this kind of advertising is so horribly knowing that even writing about it makes me want to hurl.

The horror marketeers knew damn well that they were making a commercial that was rubbish and irritating. It’s the Sheila’s Wheels Effect. It’s creating the advertising equivalent of Timmy Mallett.

In fact, I’m surprised that someone hasn’t convinced our man to tattoo Ken’s Used Tyre Emporium on his forehead, with the words SALE ENDS NOW branded onto his tongue while he goes “Bluuuh, bluuuuh, bleeeeh, bleeeeh, bluuuuh” into camera for 30 seconds.

With this dreadful opera and faux-confused People Like Us, Go Compare have effectively told us that the thing that represents the company best is a grotesquely obese man with a stupid moustache who doesn’t mind charging up to people and screaming at them from close range until they want to cry all the water out of their bodies and pray that they drown in their own tears.

  • BBC One
  • BBC Two
  • BBC Three
  • ITV1
  • ITV2
  • 4
  • E4
  • Film4
  • More4
  • Five
  • Fiver
  • Sky1