Grumpy Old Women

The Grumpy Old… series has provided much mirth and furrowed brows over the years. Ranting about the North/South divide, facepalming through each youth movement and complaining about backache and technology. It’s all good fun.

However, lately, we’ve seen only Grumpy Old Women (BBC Two) and boy, it could well be the most irritating programme on the box.

Whilst the assembled talking heads are, by-and-large, likeable, this show has an amazing ability to make them seem like the most thick-headed idiots you’ve ever come across. Worse than that, many are clearly spoiled beyond words.

Last night, for example, I – a man – had to sit and watch a bunch of braying lovies whine and bitch about having to ‘do things properly’ because, gasp, us blokes are too thick to be able to process simple instructions. Men, according to these sniping bints, are lazy, dirty and stupid… but with an undertone of ‘…but for all their faults, we love ’em really!

Clearly, these women have married morons and, better yet, raised idiots. They wail about the constant tidying up and rushing around after everyone with the caveat of ‘they simply don’t communicate with each other! They should just talk and everything would get done much more quickly!’

Aye. And maybe, Jane Moore, you should tell your family how useless they are instead of being passive aggressive on a television show which they’ll never watch in a million years because it’s amplified nagging.

Of course, all this cleaning and sorting that these poor, poor women have to do is forgotten about by the time most of them are complaining about their cleaners. Yes. These cabbage brained gits all have cleaners. So whilst the bulk of the housework is done by someone else, our Grumps then moan about how much they pay these people. The irony, of course, is that talking heads, people in media, TV personalities and the like, are all paid far too much and are the first people to make unreasonable demands of the rest of humankind.


Naturally, most of the gripes come from being ‘too busy’, what with all that cleaning that needs doing (by the hired cleaner) and will-sapping foolfamily. These mooing nightmares are rushed off their feet… which is why they take great pleasure in telling us about their mid-afternoon catnaps.

Jesus wept. What a middle class nightmare.

These tools have found themselves in a world where they think they’ve had a busy day because they took an extended lunch or shopped a bit too much. Whilst 99% of the British public actually slog it in office jobs that, lo and behold, don’t allow for a nap in the day thanks to regimented lunch breaks and soul draining instruction for crap money.

No. Where the Grumpy Old… series was once a knowing wink about the world which makes you weary, it’s now become a soapbox for the hooting onepercenters who realise how lucky they are.

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