Heads or Tails

I’m sorry. Did someone spike me in my sleep. I’m pretty sure this can’t be right, but I’ve woken up to the news that Five have commissioned a show that features Justin Lee Collins flipping a coin, continually, over and over and over, and passing it off as entertainment.

*Rubs eyes*

No. Somewhere, I’ve got this wrong. Even though I’ve just watched an ITN video which features JLC in an interview saying that this show is “the simplest of formats” and devoid of “mock science” and effectively, it really is just Lee Collins simply tossing a coin whilst a member of the public stands next to him shouting “Heads!” or “Tails!”, it still can’t be right.

Surely there will have to be some specially made, hilario-coin, featuring the hirsute gurn-skull of Justin Lee Collins?

Surely there will have to be some end-game to win The Million Pound which sees Joe Public trying to crack an eye-socket with one last lob of a 2p?

Surely a simple game of Coiny (or Pitch Penny or Jingles, depending on where you’re from) would break things up a bit, with the winner keeping the coppers tossed at a wall?

Which dunderhead figured this would be a good idea for a show?

In the days of needing instant kicks and flashy shows, we’re more likely to tune in for a programme that featured a golden replica of Stephen Fry which fires planes made out of tenners from his arse to be caught in a futuristic money pot, rather than watching a village idiot who looks like Barkley the Dog from Sesame Street flipping coins and widening his eyes with glee everytime he catches one properly.

Or, like Deal or No Deal, is this going to be one of those mystifyingly successful shows that turns normally sane people into the dribbling inhabitants of a nursing home, transfixed by almost anything that distracts from the pain of itchy piles?

Either way, here’s a link to a video of Heads or Tails, to prove that I’m not completely making this all up.


  • BBC One
  • BBC Two
  • BBC Three
  • ITV1
  • ITV2
  • 4
  • E4
  • Film4
  • More4
  • Five
  • Fiver
  • Sky1