How Clean Is Your House?

There’s a lot of judgemental television out there that effectively peers out of the screen, nose pressed up against the glass telling you that you are, pretty much, a disgusting human who should be thoroughly ashamed in every single way. You eat rubbish. You’ve got fat. You breath stinks. Your hair is rubbish. Your house could be better.

In amongst all that are two cackling harridans who are almost impossible to dislike. I give you the campest humans on Earth, Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie, the brilliant twosome who front How Clean Is Your House? (Channel 4, Thursday, 13 August, 8pm).

Of course, their schtick is to walk around some poor bugger’s house and pinch their noses and coo at how disgusting it all is, but in defence of MacKenzie and Woodburn, they do find themselves in the most appalling conditions.

Squashed rats, deadly diseases and toilet bowls so minging that it could make Bobby Sands puke.

Yet, aside from the mock scowls, this glorious pair roll up their sleeves, pop on the fur trimmed marigolds and get stuck in. They give the hovel dwellers a friendly clip round the ear hole and get them to scrape whatever godforsaken window they come across. It’s like going back in time and meeting the formidable women of World War II.

So, this week, Kim and Aggie travel to Glasgow to meet 44-year-old Scott, who runs a miniature racing cars business in the middle of his front room. It should be wonderful!

Wednesday 13 August 2008

In a new series of revisits, Kim and Aggie catch up with some of their favourite filth offenders. Pensioner Pat Crothers’ house defied description when Kim and Aggie saved her from disappearing under all the muck and clutter. When the Cleaning Queens left, Pat needed to change the habits of a lifetime if she was to stay on top of things. Now she’s asked Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie for some more cleaning advice. Is this a good sign that she’s embraced a new way of life or has Pat slipped back into her quite astonishing old ways?

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