Move Like Michael Jackson (BBC Three) is a new show that sets to tap into the nation’s fondness for Diversity, who recently did rather well on Britain’s Got Talent. Of course, the BBC couldn’t let on that this is the case, so had to jump on a non-ITV bandwagon.
Away from Cowell, the biggest bandwagon of 2009 was the death of Michael Jackson. It’s always sad when someone dies… not because of personal loss (people who say MJ meant a lot to them are usually borderline mental) but rather, you get to witness the human equivalent of circling vultures.
Michael Jackson’s funeral is still top of my TV shows for 2009… which is weird. I mean, it was so bafflingly peculiar that at various points in the show, I’d completely forgotten that someone had actually died.
Now he’s dead, we can all use his name… or so it seems. Move Like Michael Jackson is actually something for a misnomer. The show should’ve been called ‘Michael Jackson Liked Dancing And So Do I‘.
That’s because, when the show was suddenly inundated with Michael Jackson lookalikes, all of whom were completely crackers, the programme judges moaned and complained and actually said ‘we’re not here to find someone who can copy Michael’s moves’… and thereby, admitting that they weren’t after someone who Moved Like Michael Jackson.
The judges confusing proceedings were Lavelle Smith Jnr and Mark Summers. Lavelle was MJ’s right hand dancing man and Summers was some kind of scalp hunting talent spotter. In the case of the latter, he’d misguidedly found himself feeling like he was doing something important for the world. This meant that, bizarrely, he was a perfect mixture of the idiot faux-blackery of Tim Westwood and the Queen Bitch camp of Gok Wan. This of course made him perfect for television. One camp will see him as larger-than-life, the other, perfectly happy to point and laugh at him.
I wanted to hate the programme and basically tuned in to slag the whole thing off… because if we’re being honest with each other here, anything with Michael Jackson tacked onto it these days is crass, overblown and inane.
However, once you stripped away all the shit format of the TV talent show, underneath was a reasonably enjoyable programme… mainly due to the rare gems of dancers tucked away amongst the average and deluded. Bear in mind that I have an unnatural loathing for organised dance, that was quite something. I surprised even myself.
Some of the dancers did things that were so strange and impressive that I dribbled onto my floor… when I stood up to gawp, I slipped in it and ended up doing a dance move so wonderful that I would’ve impressed even the most brain-damaged Michael Jackson nut to the point where they turned their back on the pop legend and said: “Mof Gimmers, you are our new king.”
So yeah, whilst this programme is pretty irritating in places, the actual talent on show is pretty rewarding. I never thought I’d say that about a bunch of people fannying about on a stage. This could well be a cult hit for BBC Three. Provided that Jermaine Jackson doesn’t weird them out when he finally makes his appearance later in the series.