Notting Hill

As you know, Channel 4 has axed Big Brother. This summer, it’ll limp away… probably to Sky 1 or ITV.

The tricky task of replacing it has been decided by Channel 4, with a show so dull in outlook that both of my eyes have turned to glass, fallen out of my head and rolled clean across the floor, leaving me typing blind.

That’s my excuse for the constant spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

Of course, Big Brother was our chance to peer into a house in London and watch people as they get about their business. Now, we’re getting an observational show about the lives of people living in houses in London.

Creative overhaul my ass.

The show will be called Notting Hill. It will see some people selected and we’ll be asked to watch them in the name of some cod social experiment. It’s probably fair to assume that we won’t be voting them out or anything… but I suppose, if you like, you could stand outside their houses and boo whilst holding up badly spelled signs.

Stephen Lambert, who will be making Notting Hill for Channel 4, told the Independent this morning that: “It wouldn’t be unreasonable to compare it to the multi-character structure of an EastEnders or Coronation Street.” Or, if you prefer, it’s just like The Family or Paddington Green.

Creative overhaul my ass.

Of course, another irritant is how Londoncentric this show is. For most people in the UK, London is overaired on our boxes to the point of resentment. Scottish people laughed like drains when they saw how our news was so London focused when their Scotsnews went under briefly.

The choice of location is something of interest. It’s obvious that Channel 4 have chosen it primarily because they don’t have to go too far from their HQ. Secondly, like TV people are prone to fizz over, Notting Hill has some poor people in it as well as some rich people. Essentially, it’s That Lot Who Do Notting Hill Carnival and Those Young Tories Who Live in Notting Hill.

In the head of TV, there’s nowhere else in the UK that has both rich and poor living side-by-side. Nope. London is utterly unique in that respect. Yep. If you say it to yourself over and over again it… well… still doesn’t ring true.

Nope, people in TV can’t see beyond the ringroad the closes London in from the rest of the UK. God forbid those poor little London lambs would have to venture out as far as, say, The Midlands. Or, bbbrrrrr… they might want to see what the North is like! Or, if they can paint those bombs out of their tiny little minds, they might see as far as Northern Ireland!

They can’t venture too far because mediafolk have to huddle together and talk down those poor BBC Radio 5 Live presenters off window ledges because they’ve been asked to move their well-paid jobs elsewhere, just like the rest of the country has to do if it wants to work in media.

So yeah. A show about an overexposed bit of London. What a treat that’ll be for no-one. Creative overhaul my ass.

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