Ofcom, a people I’ve written about so frequently that I now think they should have their own TV show… a dysfunctional family sitcom perhaps, have today set out a timetable for the introduction of product placement on British commercial TV by the end of 2010.

Ofcom are going to publish final proposals on revising the broadcasting code to allow product placement by the end of the year, leaving us with the possibility of seeing Simon Cowell’s teeth marked with advertising slogans and Little Mo on Eastenders branded like a ranch horse with “EAT BARS OF SOAP! THEY’RE WELL NICE!” on her chin.

Kinga from Big Brother will no doubt be in talks with vineyards as we speak to give us perhaps the most appalling product placement ever seen. Then not seen. Then seen again.

Ofcom is proposing to allow TV product placement in films, and drama, sports and light entertainment programming, after the last Labour government set the wheels in motion with the new coalition lot nodding in agreement.

Of course, it won’t be a blanket agreement, with product placement still banned from children’s, religious, current and consumer affairs programmes made in the UK. Likewise, tobacco products, prescription-only medicines, booze, food and drinks high in fat/salt/sugar and gambling services will not be allowed on our shows.

What this is most likely to mean is that cars and technology will be getting sly close-ups in various shows, which is great news for those particular industries.

We can only hope that stuffy British reservedness keeps this in check for us.

  • BBC One
  • BBC Two
  • BBC Three
  • ITV1
  • ITV2
  • 4
  • E4
  • Film4
  • More4
  • Five
  • Fiver
  • Sky1