Restaurant in your Home

I’m thinking of going on hunger strike over the sheer amount of food based shows on television. It’s getting so bad that when I switch the idiot lantern on, locally grown greens and chorizo sausage tumbles out of my screen and stinks up my carpet.

In fairness, this hunger strike is pretty easy because thanks to the terrifying tide of grub pummelling my pupils, I’ve found that I’m never hungry.

This poses something of a problem when you consider that pretty much everyone in Britain has become an appalling foodie. Like Sylvanian Families, everyone is cooing various fresh veg and seafood into hokey wicker baskets and thrilling at the thought of making some soup out of the marrow and colon of that whole lamb they bought, at the behest of Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall.

This foodie craze is getting so bad that some idiots are turning their homes into would-be eateries, and of course, BBC Two is on hand to track it all in Restaurant In Your Home.

The whole idea is the fault of Mike and Tina Pemberton. You only need to know two things about them. The first is that they open the doors to their massive Norfolk pile for three nights a week and serve up posh grub to paying customers.

The second is that they clearly loathe each other.

So watching these two foodies (a byword for Lifestyle Hipster) bicker constantly makes for rather abrasive television. Add to this, more people who want to open up their houses to show off just how much they like food and you get a show that’s smugger than Kevin McCloud’s bookshelf.

Of course, the couple involved made some professional looking food and we saw their tiny flat transformed into… well… a tiny flat with more tables in. People ate some food and paid some money and everyone nosed around the place like they were one of the idiots from Come Dine With Me.

All in all, the show trundled on and invariably, there will be people out their who love the commerce of it and the chance to snoop inside A Real House Owned By A Real Couple and all that junk that epitomises Noughties television.

Personally, it just gave me indigestion. Maybe 2010 will see a new invention in broadcasting… and that’s the televisual equivalent of Rennie.

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