Sky Sports News

Rolling 24 hour news is a very modern advent in Britain. In the past, we’d huddle around in groups on street corners and mutter half-truths while we waited for the evening edition of the local paper and sat tight ’til the news came on at 10pm.

Now, we’ve got dedicated channels to Everything! that is Happening! All the time! Now! NOW!

Sadly, the world moves more slowly than 24 hour rolling news… and this has been proven this week by Sky Sports News.

Now, for my sins, I support Bolton Wanderers. In short, we’re in negotiations with Burnley as we take their manager from them. The news started on Monday and now, it’s Friday, and there’s still no news.

However, that doesn’t stop me (and thousands of other Bolton and Burnley fans) continually tuning in to Sky Sports News to find out the latest non-news.

Feverishly, I update news sources online whilst letting the dramatic music of Sky Sports News parp at me every 15 minutes to herald absolutely no new feeds concerning this thing that has suddenly taken utmost importance in my life for no good reason at all.

Once upon a time, I would’ve ridden the whole thing out, safe in the knowledge that, when something actually happened, I’d hear about it. Now I have access to news 24/7 from various sources, I can prolong the agonising wait and roll around in every horrible anti-event.

As a result, the news feels quicker and simultaneously ten times longer. I’m bombarded with things that don’t even slightly interest me, leaving me screaming at the TV ’til the veins in my neck pop… “TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO HEAR! AAAAARGH!

Of course, it’s no-one’s fault. Nothing has happened. There’s nothing to tell. Yet, because I have all this access to infomation, I feel that at least something should’ve happened by now. Instead of walking away and assuming that I’ll find out like I used to do, my life has become akin to poking at an open sore with a pen and yelling at it to heal more quickly.

Five whole days of feverishly watching nothing and pressing refresh on websites which also tell me nothing.

24 hour rolling news? It’s torture.

  • BBC One
  • BBC Two
  • BBC Three
  • ITV1
  • ITV2
  • 4
  • E4
  • Film4
  • More4
  • Five
  • Fiver
  • Sky1