The Apprentice

20:55 In today’s episode the teams have to market cereal. That might seem like a simple task but after last week’s shockingly inept shenanigans with soap, I’d not be suprised if they tried to sell strychnine as a childhood food.

20:58 And while we’re all hoping bolshey Ben (who last week professed the desire to rip out his rivals teeth) will get the boot, I’ve got a feeling he might be sticking around for some time.

21:00 We’re off. The announcer’s doing his usual portentous voiceover – “Britain’s brightest business brains…” Yep, no wonder Alisdair Darling essentially announced the complete collapse of the British economy today if this lot are our brightest hopes.

21:03 Sir Alan announces the challenge from the screen of the IMAX – somehow, he still ends up looking a little bit two dimensional. Like I said – this week’s challenge is to create a brand identity for a new breakfast cereal.

21:05 There needs to be a cartoon character and a healthy message. Kimberley the marketing pro is project manager on Ignite. Philip has already told her that if she cocks up, he’s not taking the blame. Good to see he’s a team player.

21:07 Philip’s idea in the brain storm – “Has anyone done the Cereal Killer idea.” That’s the spirit link children’s food to brutal murder.

21:09 Meanwhile Kate (the Heather Mills look-alike) has  gone with James’s idea – a pirate parrot.

21:10 Philip is singing a theme song of his own composition – the gist of which is “Dance in your pants.” Lorraine quietly suggests it might be verging on the silly. Philip declares that if they won’t go with his idea of “Pants-man” he’ll throw his toys out of the pram.

21:11 Next door, the other team are getting obsessed with the accessories the Parrot needs. “We want crossed spoons”, Kate suggests. James is worried that it just looks like a bird dressed as a pirate. That’s because it is.

21:12 Meanwhile as Pantsman is being designed, Philip has shifted gear – straight out of passive agression and into all out tantrum throwing. It might be too early to tell but I have a feeling that the slightly pervy looking Pantsman has lost it for them already.

21:14 Elsewhere a jingle writer is being totally bamboozled by James’s vision for a sea shanty.

21:15 Philip is singing his song to his team’s composer while Lorraine looks on aghast. “I’m OK with it,” she says, “But you know, not overly OK.”

21:16 Howard, looking like a particularly pallid extra from Lost Boys, tries to mediate in the battle of half-wits going on between Philip and Lorraine. He fails spectacularly.

21:17 Kimberley has decided to let the graphic designer to get on with the box design essentially saying “Just stick a bowl and an alarm clock on it.”

21:19 The next morning, all is calm in the land of Kate and the Treasure Flakes. Their box looks good and includes information about what’s in the cereal. Meanwhile Pantsman is…pants. A terrible box which doesn’t tell you what’s in there.

21:20 On the search for costumes for Pantsman, Lorraine and Kimberley get told off by an old lady for messing about with knickers.

21:21 James in the recording studio helping to record their jingle: “I feel like Ringo Starr.” Then “I feel like a monkey learning how to use tools.” He may be over-estimating his abilities.

21:23 The cereal is full of fruit and nuts. The child actor hired by Kate’s team has a…nut allergy.

21:24 But that’s nowhere near as ridiculous as a) Nural looking like a complete nerk in the Pantsman suit – a child protection case waiting to happen and b) Philip tunelessy squalking out their jingle. The recording engineer has him sussed out “I think he may think he’s Bono.”

21:26 Kimberley (a grown woman) thinks Pantsman is hilarious. Meanwhile the rather more sophisticated pair of seven years olds they’ve selected to star in the ad are distinctly unimpressed.

21:27 Kate’s clearly made a mistake – ditching the professional singer’s jingle in favour of letting Ben do his Bono impression.

21:28 Mona and Kimberley are now battling over the presentation. It’s like kids trying to put together a school assembly. And Mona’s now nearly crying – that’s what big businesswomen do.

21:30 Now they’re pitching in front of ad execs. Debra’s up first with the pirate parrot and Treasure Flakes. The experts look fairly stoic at first but the ad got them smiling. Their feedback is not so positive though – the box crams in too many benefits. Kate then rather unwisely tells the panel they’re wrong.

21:33 Mona’s presentation sounds as if it’s just been translated into a foreign language and back again while the TV ad is getting more awkward laughs than a Curb Your Enthusiasm marathon. The fact that the box has no information on it isn’t going down well and now Philip is attacking the ad-men – not a good move. “We actually sell things,” says the main man, looking very unimpressed.

21:36 In the boardroom, Philip is explaining Pantsman “I was thinking out the box.” Meanwhile Lorraine brought up her idea of creating many characters. “That’s not what the brief said,” growls Sir Alan.

21:38 Sir Alan compliments Kimberley’s ad direction. Hmmm…

21:39 Sir Alan to Kate’s team: “So you’re all taking responsibility for the Parrot Pirate theme then?” Everyone nods. Might they regret that?

21:40 Yep, there’s the sucker punch: “In my discussions with the ad agency, they though the execution was weak,” mutters Sir Alan. Weaker than Pantsman?

21:41 Sir Alan is baffled by Kimberley’s team failing to get any information on their box. And… Kate’s team have won. In these credit crunched times it’s another really terrible treat for them – a session with a laughter guru. If they really want a laugh they should stick around for the boardroom showdown.

21:42 Long-faced Lorraine spends the first part of the boardroom moaning. She’s seems to be setting herself up for a fall.

21:43 “You Lorraine, were complaining before we even opened our mouths.” Sir Alan is not happy with her Eeyore-like outlook.

21:44 Philip is next in the firing line: “I didn’t come here to be a shrinking violet.” No, of course not, keep going for the Venus Fly Trap approach instead.

“There are places when you need to shut you mouth,” says Sir Alan, offering Philip one of his patented pearls of wisdom.

21:45 Kimberley’s going for the old “I’m not a creative” ploy. That doesn’t have a good track record.

21:46 “To use this idea to sell product was not funny but stupid…” says Sir Alan – speaking like he sees it.

Margaret is unpicking the idea of a superhero telling kids not to wear their pants on the outside of their clothes while he does. She does deliberately baffled brilliantly.


21:47 Kimberley aka The Marketeer suddenly claims she’s not happy in front of audiences while Mona’s car crash performance during the team’s presentation means she hasn’t showered herself in glory.

21:48 Lorraine has put herself at odds with the rest of the team. She’s clearly in need of a copy of How To Make Friends And Influence People.

21:49 Kimberley is bringing Philip and Lorraine back into the boardroom. Limp-old Lorraine looks set for the boot.

“They took logic and tortured it until it screamed, ” Nick’s spot on as usual.


21:50 “Lorraine, either you have superior intelligence or you’re just a bit of a whinger.” Sir Alan, the smart money’s on option B.

21:51 Philip and Kimberley are really putting the boot in to Lorraine. “I have always championed you,” says Kimberley.

“This is very romantic,” snarls Philip.

21:52 “When you soar like an eagle, you attract a hunter,” Sir Alan says staring Philip down and coming over all Eric Cantona (“When the seagulls follow ze trawler…”)

21:53 Philip now wants to seem Kimberley get canned. “You should be grateful for what I’ve done for you,” he says with that ego firing on full again.

Now Nick is defending him. “He can be a bit pushy some times but is that enough to bring him back in…” A bit pushy, that’s like saying the vikings were a little bit keen on pilaging.

21:54 Kimberley claims she edited all of the ad. “Are you on drugs?”, splutters Philip.

21:55 Lorraine has a face like a cake that’s been rained on. Kimberley has a marketing background and Sir Alan looks like he’s blaming her for that blahdy stupid idea. Philip on the other hand “made a mistake on pants.”

21:56 Lorraine stays to be a team leader another day.

21:57 “Kimberley, you remind me of the Wizard Of Oz. You look very impressive but behind the curtain there’s nothing…” Sir Alan’s script writers have been on good form this week.

21:58 Kimberley in the cab remains cocksure.

21:59 Back at the house just after the rest of the contestants have finished hoping that all three get fired, they greet fist-of-fury Phil and loopy Lorraine with the usual hugs and smiles.

Once again: the wrong candidate went.

Next week: selling antiques.

See you next time Sir Alan watchers.

After last week’s fitness fiasco – the porta-potty style Body Rocker vs the seventies style Bingo Buster (pretty much just a wooden box with bits nailed onto it), this week’s challenge is all about creating a new health product. Perhaps the team should try and create a cream to make Sir Alan’s face look a little less like a slapped arse. 

21:05 Sir Alan get the teams lined up at Kew Gardens. He’s mixing up the teams – that pretty much guarantees friction. 

21:07 Paula, team leader of Empire, says she’s really pleased with her team with a look on her face that says “Oh, christ what have I got left with.” 

21:08 Essex-estate-agent-super-geezer Phil has just confessed a secret love for cosmetics while on the other team Ben has revealed he doens’t wear soap. 

21:09 The team’s innovations so far – soap or shower gel. Yasmina: “Anything to do with the ocean is fresh, isn’t it?” She’s obviously never gone swimming on a British beach. 

21:11 Half of Paula’s team are out in Poole harbour about to pick seaweed. The other team have opted for honey as their natural ingredient. Too early to predict a sticky situation? 

21:13 Yasmina, no fan of bees is…one of the three candidates sent to get suited up and nick honey from hives.

21:14 Meanwhile the other team are after seaweed. James is, true to type, moaning: “I’m knee deep in crab shit.” You suspect the crabs aren’t pleased to see him either. 

21:15 Paula and Yasmina get confused between Sandlewood and Cedarwood. Cedarwood – dirt cheap. Sandlewood (according to the perfume expert) is the most expensive oil of the lot. What’s more they can’t read the recipe right. You’d think Sir Alan might want people that can do a bit of basic maths.

21:17 450g is going into the mix – nearly £600 worth. The team is oblivious. 

21:19 Genial geordie Phil is getting fractious with Kimberley, the irritating American, who he’s decided is “as dumb as a door knob”. The label design process is far from smooth. And the team haven’t got a batch number, which is vital. 

21:20 Lorraine brands Phil “a dickhead”, for once she’s in tune with what everyone else is thinking. 

21:21 Nick lets Paula’s team know that they’ve completely messed up their figures and their fragrance is going to have to sell for a fortune to make a profit. Paula immediately blames the rest of the team. 

21:23 The next morning – Paula’s trying to be positive…”We’ll just to have to go in high.” Meanwhile the other team’s honey packed soap falls appart when you add water. That’s a pretty big failure for a washing product. 

21:25 Empire are trying to sell their fragrant products next to a van selling German sausages. The other team are attempting to flog their wares dressed in beekeeper outfits. It looks like an outtake from a low-rent version of Outbreak. 

21:29 Nural can’t sell anything. While Ben, Debra and Kimbeley are trying to thust their seaweed soap at commuters outside a Tube station. Way to pick a pitch. 

21:30 Empire have been shifing the Sandlewood soap, so they’ve now decided to stick their prices up. “Shall we stick on an extra 50p” Paula wonders. 

21:31 Beekeepers outfits outside a tube station? How long before the police rapid response unit arrives? 

21:32 Meanwhile, Nural’s team are slashing prices on the disintergrating honey soap and the man himself is stuck in traffic. 

21:34 Empire have sold the rest of their stock to a dealer for £400 but will that be enough to make up for the super-expensive Sandlewood?

21:35 Nural’s team are desperate. “Two for one pound.” They’re effectively giving their stock away. 

21:36 Time to see Sir Alan. Nural’s team sold their stock for barely anything but will Paula’s team’s costly mistake with the Sandlewood be their downfall? 

21:37 “Nural, good team leader?”, ask Sir Alan. They team say yes. Margaret says no. Now Sir Alan’s looking at the soap. “I think the centrepiece of the soap is very liquidy,” Nural claims. 

21:38 “Sounds like you were making a bloody cocktail”, Sir Alan mutters after Nural’s talk of honey and coconut. 

21:39 Ben begins a waffling attack on Paula. “I didn’t want the blahdy Magna Carta.” Sir Alan is not happy. 

21:40 The Sandlewood knackered Paula’s team. Nick really puts the knife in. “If Paula and Yasmina hadn’t confused Sandlewood with Cedarwood, you would have won.” Sir Alan looks like an weary walnut. 

21:41 Nural’s team are sent off for sushi and saki. A win but no thanks to Nural. Phillip delivers the inevitable “who’s Sir Alan going to saki?” pun. 

21:42 Paula gets ready to blame Ben for the costing cock-up. “I’m furious. I’m going to rip her to shreds,” he says charmingly. 

21:44 Sir Alan’s praising the product but…where were the profits? Paula admits she didn’t know how much the fragrances cost while Ben sits at the end drinking his water and mumbling. 

21:45 Ben focusing on patronising Paula in his attempt to avoid the fire. Nick notes that Ben was only a few metres away, “not in bloody Scotland” adds Sir Alan. 

21:46 Yasmina – “Cedarwood and Sandlewood sounded the same.” 

21:47 Sir Alan’s on about how good the product and design are again. Paula’s taking the credit. Ben wants to take credit for the design and marketing. 

21:48 “Is there anything you didn’t do?” asks Sir Alan turning his ire on “brilliant” Ben. He and Yasmina are coming back in the boardroom with Paula. 

21:49 “Made soap. I would hang on to some. Because if you think you’re sweating now, you soon will be.” Whoever’s writing Sir Alan’s quips needs to up their game. 

21:50 Sir Alan not impressed that Paula’s using her HR background to weasel out of responsibility for dealing with the costings. Lesson: never try and look for sympathy if you work in HR. 

21:51 Ben is getting bolshey. His plan is obviously to just attack, attack, attack. Let’s hope Sir Alan sees through it. Paula certainly thinks Ben should be fired. 

21:52 “The girls admitted I was brilliant at selling.” says Mr Modest. 

21:53 Scenting blood, Ben and Yasmina both turn on Paula. “You’ve shown yourself to be a bit of a thug Ben,” says Paula showing a perceptiveness that was lacking earlier in the episode. 

21:54 “Never mind making soap, this sounds like a blahdy soap opera.” Sir Alan’s quips are back on track. 

21:55 Sir Alan sums up and Paula gets fired. She made a great product and she went. Seriously unfair. Ben’s on thin ice though (“Either you alienate people or you’re no blahdy good.”) and Yasmina will be a project manager again soon. 

21:57 Bully-boy Ben is turning out to be the villain of the series. He’ll stay because he’s entertaining. 

Next time: create a healthy cereal for kids. They’ll probably end up putting crushed glass in it. 

Night folks. 


Hello Throngers, and welcome to episode two of The Apprentice.

Last week, the ladies lost the cleaning task, and Anita was fired. Bye bye Anita, you are now a distant memory. I couldn’t stop staring at her face. She reminded me of a Lucien Freud painting.

It’s morning, and SirAlan is on his way to the swish digs to tell them their task. 14 contestants still in the game.

RoughCreamPuffYankGirl thinks the girls will “come out fighting”, We’ll see.

SirAlan says 300,000 saps, sorry, PEOPLE work in the city. They also like to eat. The Apprentices need to cater a corporate event for these “high-flyers”.

A switch-a-roo around – Nick is following the fellas, Margaret is following the lasses. One of them will be fired. G’LUCK Apprentices! You’ll need it.

21:07 – Rocky is the boys’ team leader. Yasmina is the girls’ team leader. She’d like an Italian theme. The boys are thinking of a British theme. But it’s getting more complicated. The boys are talking about the Olympics in 2012, and how they should do all kinds of foods related to the five continents. Right. That won’t nake things harder.

Rocky and the fellas are looking at props and costumes to suit the food.  Some of them are unsure about the theme and whether it suits the black-tie style of event.

The girls have contracts for two offices tomorrow lunchtime, but Rocky’s team are clientless so far.They’re making sandwich calculations. I bet I feel hungry at the end of this episode.

Kate is pitching the girls’ menu to an accountancy firm. She’s doing her best, event though she doesn’t know exactly what will be served. She doesn’t seem to know what bruchetta is. She isn’t making the Italian menu appealing. The client is worried. No shit. I would be. He says they need to meet his standards,

Philip in the boys’ team, Empire, is pitching to more clients. They think the service is pricey at £50 a head. They’re right. He’s now down to £15 a-head. They agree. Rocky won’t be happy though.

21:18 – Yasmina is buying the food in ASDA. You can’t beat Smart Price tuna chunks. Mmm. Cat food. the corporate big heads will LOVE IT.

The boys are now discussing whether costumes are worth it or not. Philip thinks the menus and outfit are both “shit”. I ain’t disagreeing. I don’t like the sound of either teams’ menus.

The next morning. Yasmina is givng a pep talk. “YES CHEF!” they all cheer. She’s showing them ways to be stingey/economical with the ingredients. Slice them tomatoes real thin!

In the boys’ kitchen, they’re making 500 sandwiches and salads, despite having nobody to sell them too. A chicken tikka sandwich sounds minging. Made by them, it will be. Oh, peanut butter sandwiches are for the American theme. Them healthy yanks!

I’m going out on a whim and making a mad prediction – the men will sell better on the streets than the ladies will do with clients.

And I may be right. One client lady has said how it looks unappealing. The clients are complaining how their isn’t much choice. And there is no dressing on the bloody salad. Come on girls, buck your ideas up.


Out on da streetz of London, the boys are selling their sandwiches. OLYMPIC SANDWICHES. They’re out on the sunny Southbank and everything. I thought this task was to feed businessey corporate types? Hmm.

The girls are going to different offices, who aren’t keen on their food. I don’t blame them. One office guy has complained about a craply filled wrap. Pret-a-Manger it AIN’T.

21:27 – Rocky and a couple of others are making canapes. No ordinary canapes. OLYMPIC CANAPES. Cheddar on a freaking stick. Pish. No wonder Nick thinks it looks crap. He is pulling his ‘unimpressed’ face. Love it.

Back to the girls, and one of the female clients think the food looks like it has come from a funeral. It looks like it came from a mass funeral.

Over at the mens’ event, and they’re serving food in togas. They look like pillocks. Nick says the togas “haven’t gone down well” but the older ladies in the event like it. Ha!

Paula and Mona are in the kitchen making canapes for their event. Kate says the bruchetta is too big. Girl is right, it’s huge. You couldn’t get that in yer gob.

Aaaand back to the men, and their canapes look awful. The customers are not happy. People are hungry. No wonder when cheese on a stick is one of the menu highlights. A taste of a ploughman’s? No way.

Switch back to the girls, and the client ain’t happy about canape size. He says they’re wraps, not mouth-size bites. And people are spilling the wrap contents, which is dangerous. I hate slipping on avocado.

The night is over. PHEW. Which team will have won it?

21:36 – In the boardroom, the mens’ team, Empire, generally agree that Rocky was a good team leader. As it turns out, he runs sandwich shops, employing 150 people.

The girls all agree that Yasmina – who has run a restaurant before – did good at leading their team.

Margaret announces the Ignite figures. They spent £344.77. They earned a profit of £651.

The men spent £831.27p. They earned a LOSS of £167. UHOH.

I was wrong, the men lost. I must never bet money on this show.

The treat for the girls is learning how to play polo. How upper class, what what. I’d be disappointed with that treat.

the fellas are in the cafe discussing wot went bad. Howard ain’t happy with Rocky. Rocky isn’t happy with him.

21:48 – SirAlan is not happy. As you would expect. “To come in with a loss is inconcieveable.” He isn’t sure if Rocky asserted his authority. Sugar is calling James up on his CV, which states that he “can taste success” in his spit when he wakes up. Loada crap.

Nick is bringing up the poor communicating and bargaining with the clients. Also, he is reporting how unhappy the clients were with the overall service.

Rocky is returning to the boardroom with James and Howard. The others are heading back to the penthouse.

SirAlan seems to like Rocky. he is young. He can learn from the mistakes.

SirAlan is asking James why he shouldn’t fire him. He thinks he can be Sir Alan’s diamond. Euurgh.

Rocky thinks he shouldn’t be fired because he is a hard worker and a quick learner who improves from his mistakes.

Howard looks worried.

The weird tension music is starting.

Sir Alan thinks Howard could have done more and stepped up when it went wrong. He is unsure about how James expesses himself. He thinks Rocky made immature mistakes.

Rocky, you’re fired.

Aww poor guy. He was a little out of his depth. Too young Rocky, too much too young.

SirAlan’s got his eye on Howard and James.


And that’s it for this week. My wrist hurts. See you next week, when the teams have to invent home fitness equipment. Ooh I can’t wait already. Goodnight all!

The BBC has announced the final 15 contestants for the fifth series of The Apprentice.   There will eight females and seven males in this year’s contest.  As ever, their backgrounds are quite diverse and include an ex-professional footballer, a restaurateur, a science teacher and an estate agent.   For the first time two of the contestants on The Apprentice are from overseas.

Sir Alan Sugar’s advisers Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford are also returning to the show, as will the spinoff show The Apprentice: You’re Fired! (hosted by Adrian Chiles) which will also be on Wednesday nights.

Already there has been a causality of the show, when one male contestant pulled out of the show right before filming began, stating that he could not face leaving his family.

The recession has had an impact on The Apprentice this year.  Not only has its budget been hit, but this series will not include visits to overseas destination.  Mentions of Sir Alan Sugar’s wealth have also been toned down.  As we go through the series you will see some shows that are specifically made towards recognition of what difficult times we are in,” said Sir Alan Sugar.  “At the moment, people are having to consider whether they can go on holiday and so there is one episode about reinvigorating one of our seaside towns.”

The first episode of The Apprentice will be broadcast on March 25th at 9pm and will see the contests heading to Margate to get involved with renovation work in the town.  Later in the series, instead of the usual task of promoting a new foreign product, the contestants will undertake a “buy British” challenge and will be asked to help promote small businesses.

The excitement is building. Mini trailers are being shown; a polished black shoe steps over a pair of spectacles, crushing them to pieces. The shoe can only belong to one person, one businessman who you don’t mess with.

We hear it from him every year. He doesn’t like liars. He doesn’t like cheats. He doesn’t like bullsh*tters. He doesn’t like schmoozers. He doesn’t like blaggers. He doesn’t like arse-lickers. Never ever underestimate him. 

You must know who I am on about now. Who else, but Sir Alan Sugar. Yes, The Apprentice is back.

Now a familiar show to the springtime schedule, The Apprentice is don’t-miss TV. Totally compelling, exciting, full tension and suspense, and often hilarious, the we see a group of Apprentice-wannabes who are desperate to be part of the Sugar empire. 

Of course, some of the contestant egos are massive. Who can forget hot-headed Italian, Paul from series one, slick Syed from the second series, and charming Raef from last year. There is always a woman who stands out, who goes he extra mile, like Ruth Badger who proved she could turn her hand to any challenge, and Saira Khan from series one, who was gutsy and never gave up under stress. Claire from the last series – who many believed should have won, but she lost out to Lee – was similar to Saira in her tough, hard-working attitude.

This year, Twitter users will be able to follow updates from the show, with @TheApprentice5, who has aleady informed us that Sir Alan’s two helpers, Nick and Margaret are returning with him. No date has been given for the return of the show yet, but the exciting build-up is certainly getting Apprentice fans ready for the boardroom.

After 12 gruelling weeks battling it out against Britain’s brightest business hopefuls, Simon Ambrose, a 27-year-old internet entrepreneur from London, has been named as Sir Alan Sugar’s third Apprentice.

Simon walks away with the prize of a six-figure salaried job with the self-made multi-millionaire and boss of Amstrad, Sir Alan Sugar.

In the concluding episode, screened last night on BBC One, Simon beat off stiff competition from 36-year-old pharmaceutical sales manager Kristina Grimes, by managing a team of fired apprentices in the toughest task yet – they had to come up with ideas for a replacement building to Sir Alan’s recently acquired £120million IBM building on the South Bank.

Although some said Simon’s design looked like a flaccid-looking phallic symbol, he won over a room full of architects and property gurus during his presentation. Sir Alan later credited Simon with delivering a presentation about his building design which had “hard-nosed business people … eating out of his hands.”

Meanwhile, Kristina failed to impress with an Angel Of The North-style property that architects said was redolent of Thirties fascist architecture.

Sir Alan dropped the bombshell news by telling the pair: “It’s a very difficult decision. There’s only one job. I’ve got someone who’s very experienced. I’ve also got someone who’s enthusiastic, a great talker and willing to learn.”

He told Simon: “Bloody old fool that I am, I’m going to take that risk, you’re hired.”

The series finale was the conclusion of another hugely successful series of the multi-award-wining show, which attracted up to 7 million viewers on BBC One.

The show had more than 10,000 applicants this year, whittled down to the final 16 who all quit their jobs to face the biggest challenge of their lives, a 12-week job interview with the self-confessed “most belligerent person you’ll ever come across” – Amstrad boss and multi-millionaire Sir Alan Sugar.

Simon said after the show: “To get to the final was a dream come true. Winning is the cherry on the cake … I started out playing with an Amstrad computer as a child – now I’m working for Sir Alan Sugar.”

He added: “I feel so sad for Kristina. She’s such a great opponent. She worked her heart out for this job and so it’s a bitter-sweet victory.”

Kristina Grimes said later she was devastated by the decision. “I came on this intent on getting the job with Sir Alan. My heart and soul was in this, so it’s very tough.”

Asked what he would do with the salary, Simon said: “There’s nothing on my radar that I want to buy with the £100,000, except perhaps an Aston Martin, but I want to pay off my mortgage.”

Simon, from Clapham, south London, will train as a chartered surveyor while working on a project to develop a hotel and golf complex near Stansted Airport.

The Apprentice is a talkbackTHAMES production for BBC One.

The job interview from Hell is almost over for the 16 applicants who have travelled to London from all across the country in the hopes of landing the £100,000 job and become Sir Alan Sugar’s next apprentice. Sir Alan Sugar’s global empire is worth in excess of £800m and now he’s ready to hire another apprentice.

Last week, Sir Alan had to fire three of the remaining five applicants but only had to fire Lohit and Tre in the end as Katie resigned. That left Pharmaceutical Sales Manager Kristina Grimes and Internet Entrepreneur Simon Ambrose to fight it out for the coveted title of The Apprentice.

Kristina has previously beaten Simon two weeks ago in the Selling on TV task. Rather that conceeding defeat, Simon thinks therefore that he owes her a beating in the upcoming challenge.

In the boardroom, Sir Alan sits once again between Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford. He shows them a building that he’d just bought in London for £120m. He wants them to create a concept for the building that turns it into a London landmark. In four days time they will present their ideas to some of the countries leading property developers.

Back at the house there are 8 of the 14 fired applicants waiting for Simon and Kristina’s arrival. They each must pick four of them to help them on the task that Sir Alan has given them. Kristina chooses Naomi, Paul, Natalie and Adam while Simon chooses Tre, Lohit, Jadine and Rory. There is a bit of history between Tre and Rory though which might make for some interesting challenges for Simon to deal with.

Simon and Tre are working on an idea of turning into the building that looks like a boat and has a luxury hotel in it. Rory thinks the idea is so obvious and uninspiring.

Kristina heads to the science and technology museum to search out modern, futuristic design. Simon and Tre head to the Aquarium to look for inspiration there.

Tre is confident that he can make it look like it will be floating on water. Rory, Jadine and Lohit are out searching for another idea for a concept. Rory finds a water sculpture that he likes.

Kristina is back at the house and has called a team meeting to discuss ideas.

After showing the boat design, Rory tells Simon that he will not win the apprentice with that design. Rory shows his design and Simons says he wants to put it to a vote.

Kristina’s team are building some structures with lego and playdough.

The boat idea gets scrapped. Jadine pulls Simon aside to talk to him about how the task is his.

The teams now head to the architects to turn their concepts into drawings. Ken Shuttleworth from Make Architects is a little concerned at the concept as it makes him think of the Nazi eagles when he looks at the angels at either end of the building. Back to the drawing board.

Simon calls an emergency meeting back at the house and tells everyone to pull their weight. He promises to take everyone to Barcelona if he wins the task.

Matt White from Make Architects was disappointed that they didn’t have Rory, the person who drew the originals, there to help them put the ideas onto paper.

As the the building has changed, Kristina has to hurry back to find out what’s going on because she has been trying to get some valuations on what the property would be worth.

Simon calls a meeting to discuss the presentation. Rory wants to use dancing girls.

Kristina doesn’t like the props as it makes the presentation looks cheap which doesn’t reflect the calue of the building.

Simon presents their project called The Wave which has an estimated cost of £730m with a 40% return.

Kristina presents their project The Phoenix which is also very nice but the questions seem a bit more intense.

Simon changes his mind on the task and that if he wins, it’ll be New York that his team mates will be travelling with him to.

In the boardroom, Sir Alan grills the teams about the tasks.

Nick is leaning towards Simon but Margaret is leaning more towards Kristina. Sir Alan calls Simon and Kristina back into the boardroom to announce their fate. He asks them both to state their case as to why they should be hired.

Despite knowing that it’s a risk, Sir Alan tells Simon “You’re Hired”.

Kristine Lefebrvre, who recently became Donald Trump’s newest Apprentice after the Los Angeles series of the famous reality TV series, has taken up a secondary apprenticeship – she’s taking all of her clothes off for Playboy magazine.

However, this leggy attorney from LA is not just a typical Playboy bunny, she’s actually got a story to tell – her Playboy poses came as a way of spreading the word about the dangers women face with cancer. Kristine was diagnosed with cervical cancer just a year and a half ago, and underwent a radical surgery to make sure that the cancer didn’t spread. At this stage, the new TV star is in the clear, but she feels the need to spread the word about the trials and tribulations that women with cancer are facing every day. Her spread in Playboy magazine is a way of bringing attention to the plight of women everywhere.

Do you want to read more about this story? Do you want to see the photos? Click here!

Sir Alan Sugar – owner of Amstrad – is about to see (well, really – we are about to see…) the 16 contestants that are lining up for an interview. But not the usual sort of interview – here we see them on the very popular reality show The Apprentice where they will do all that they can to become the ultimate apprentice…

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