The Royal Variety Performance

8:00pm Thursday 16 December on BBC ONE

Take That, Cheryl Cole, N-Dubz, Russell Watson, Spelbound and comedians including John Bishop, Sarah Millican, Jack Whitehall and Micky Flanagan perform for the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall at the Royal Variety Performance, hosted by Michael McIntyre

The Royal Variety Performance. The place where the people in the posh seats rattle their jewellery at the acts, according to one bloke.

As ever, it trundles on without ever really interesting anyone too much, apart from those involved who see it as a Great British tradition… getting people to perform like seals for The Queen, who presumably is utterly puzzled by everything she sees. I mean, she surely doesn’t listen to the radio or watch TV, does she? I bet she’s got someone to do that for her, leaving her listless and lying around opulent bedrooms wonder what the point of it all is.

Possibly.

Anyway, the next Royal Variety is apparently going to be hosted by Peter Kay.

According to The Sun, the comic will be joined by acts including Michael Bublé, Miley Cyrus, singer Katherine Jenkins, comedians Paddy McGuinness and Jason Manford, and X Factor winner Alexandra Burke.

US slebs like Whoopi Goldberg and Better Midler are on the bill, alongside the cast of West End hit Sister Act.

Britain’s Got Talent champions Diversity will also perform at the event, which is taking place in Blackpool. The show will be broadcast on ITV1 in December.

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