I told you a while back about MTV’s plans to replace TMF with Viva. Well, now it has happened (and if I’m being honest, the shows sound so mental that I think reviews of Viva programmes may well be making frequent and confused appearances on these very pages) and the channel is being advertised with… well…

The adspots are cropping up on a variety of channels, letting everyone know that there’s a new channel in town and heading it up is one of the weirdest humans who ever walked this failing Earth.

A man with a haircut that resembles something pulled out of the bath plug, with a shrew nose and enough gums for an entire team of circus freaks.

Quite how he ended up on my TV is something of a puzzle. I mean, did MTV stick an advert in some trade magazine for thesps?

WANTED: Very peculiar looking man. The more peculiar the better. Way too much gum an advantage. Irritating voice also advantageous. Wage: Ex – Nat Min. Actor will be provided with daft haircut if required. Full training given.

Lo and behold! This bloke who looks like his mother had a difficult time in labour with him appears from nowhere to shout “UP YOUR VIVA!” down a telephone line and generally leaving everyone in front of the TV to rub their eyeballs in astonishment.

Maybe this is the future of advertising? The models and hunks will be ditched in favour of a procession of freakshows, dribbling and inserting cans of Lilt into their nostrils whilst trying to shout random phrases in the hope they go ‘viral’.

Here’s our funny looking man in action.

  • BBC One
  • BBC Two
  • BBC Three
  • ITV1
  • ITV2
  • 4
  • E4
  • Film4
  • More4
  • Five
  • Fiver
  • Sky1