Teenage Kicks

Friday 16 May 2008 10:30pm - 11:00pm

Vernon completely ruins Milly’s romantic evening with her boyfriend, so she decides to spend the weekend at his parents for some privacy. It’s ok though as Vernon has a whole weekend of gratuitous drinking planned with Bryan as their annual booze cruise to Calais is upon them. Shockingly for Vernon, Bryan turns him down as his wife has got her bonus through and Calais has been snubbed for a trip to Venice.

Feeling left out Vernon begs Max to let him go out clubbing with him. Unsurprisingly his response is less than enthusiastic and he’s given the cold shoulder. Out of desperation he agrees to escort David to the monthly model train collectors meeting but David has other plans - he’s off to see a Phil Collins Tribute band.

Left on his own in the flat all weekend, Vernon gets so low he decides to top himself… but gets the wrong pills.

Friday 9 May 2008 9:30pm - 10:00pm

Vernon’s annoying everyone and it’s the last straw. He’s been playing his guitar too loud, cutting David’s hair while he’s asleep, embarrassing Milly in front of her friends (by putting a condom on his head no less), and eating Max’s secret Toblerone – so the kids finally throw him out.

After being turned down by all of his school and university friends for a place to stay, Vernon turns to his ‘one true best mate that he can truly rely on when the chips are down’: Bryan. However, unfortunately for Vernon, Bryan’s missus won’t let him stay with them as she can’t stand the sight of him.

So, down but not defeated Vernon sets up residence in his car but when the kids from the local estate tip his car over, it gets towed and Vernon ends up on the street. After an accident involving a hill, some skis and a fence, Vernon ends up in hospital. Will it finally persuade the kid’s to take him back?

Friday 2 May 2008 9:30pm - 10:00pm

Vernon goes on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, but as one of the sad losers in the line up. But he meets a guy he knew at uni who’s still got a band, and they’re looking for a new lead guitarist – all they need to get started is new amps, new mics, a new roadie, a new bassist… and a new van.

Meet Vernon: a switched on, plugged in, super cool kinda guy; an ex front man of a rock and roll punk band that lived and breathed anarchy at every turn. At least that’s what he’d have you believe. Unfortunately for Vernon, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Following a spectacularly nasty divorce, Vernon (Adrian Edmondson) moves in with his teenage kids. A rebel in his youth (or so he thinks), he is genuinely excited about living in their student flat, seeing this new found freedom as an opportunity to ‘get down with the kids’ and be young and reckless again.

Friday 25 April 2008 9:30pm - 10:00pm

Vernon wants to go back to University: free money, birds, the student bar - what’s not to like? Milly thinks it’s great too – until she finds out he’s applied to her uni. So Vernon presents his relevant life experience to the university applications department and is convinced that he’s secured a place on Milly’s course of psychology and interpretive dance. Unsurprisingly, the admissions department think differently to Vernon’s eligibility and decline his application.

But all is not lost as Vernon is accepted by one university through clearing…but the only place that’ll have him is The Highlands Outreach Centre Institute of Technology – only 52 miles away from Inverness!

Friday 18 April 2008 9:30pm - 10:00pm

Still intent on recapturing his youth Vernon goes to a rave and ends up hospitalised after mistaking an ecstasy pill for a Smartie. He has a full medical check up and the doctors tell him he’s only got 17 years to live.

Milly doesn’t want an invalid dad staying in her cupboard because she’d have to look after him. Vernon, being the Marxist, Stalinist, Anarchist that he believes himself to be, laughs off Milly’s concerns and vows to carry on living life like a reckless teenager.

So Vernon, dons his (four sizes too small) Sex Pistols jacket, sets off to the pub and promptly collapses from a ‘heart attack’. Luckily for Vernon the attack turns out to be a heart murmur but it’s still enough for him to take advice from Milly and start a strict health and fitness regime. The question is, will he stick to it?

Friday 11 April 2008 9:30pm - 10:00pm

Vernon faces up to some home truths when Max and Milly tell him what a rubbish dad he was while they were growing up. Vernon is mortified and sets about putting things right. First on the list is Max’s bully from school.

Vernon decides to confront psycho Andy Hollingsworth at the pub and take revenge for the years of abuse that was inflicted on Max. However, Max’s memory of school is a little clouded and it transpires that he was the one who bullied Andy. Unfortunately for Vernon, Andy’s Tae Kwon Do expert father arrives on the scene – and dishes out a little pay back of his own.

Friday 28 March 2008 9:30pm - 10:00pm on ITV1.

Meet Vernon: a switched on, plugged in, super cool kinda guy; an ex front man of a rock and roll punk band that lived and breathed anarchy at every turn. At least that’s what he’d have you believe. Unfortunately for Vernon, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

After a messy divorce in which his high-flying wife takes everything, Vernon’s left broke and homeless…with nowhere else to go, he moves in with his kids.

It’s only a three bedroom flat, and as none of the kids are prepared to share a bedroom, Vernon has to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs – just big enough for a single mattress.

Naturally, his kids are mortified.

It's the first episode and Vernon tries everything from speed dating to lonely hearts to move on from his divorce – but he still can’t pull!