Thursday 8 May 2008 10:35pm - 11:35pm

With Malcolm having been run out of Gardenstown for upsetting the locals with his comments at the Strawberry Fayre of “don’t you know Jesus Christ is a sausage?” things take a dark turn in the race to become Baron.

With polling days three days away, the election itself is in doubt. Will there even be a Baron? An unrepentant Malcolm is in exile on the outskirts of the village and the locals only agree to allow filming to continue if he does not return. A local tells the cameras that “people are genuinely shocked that someone they have taken into their community could be so insensitive.” Another blasted: “He was just an ignorant, obnoxious person, I hope never to see him again in my life.”

Mike reflects on Malcolm’s actions. “You’re basically living in a time warp up here, the locals aren’t interested in what’s going on outside this little haven, and we’ve introduced them to a lunatic.”

Despite being in exile, Malcolm’s name remains on the ballot papers. However, the race to become Baron is not the two horse race Mike and Suzanne think it is as unbeknown to them, a secret number of Malcolm supporters are determined to keep him in the running to become Baron.

In an effort to smooth out relations between the villagers and the candidates, Mike and Suzanne have been asked to help at a weekly charity lunch for over 100 people. Sensing an opportunity to win extra votes, Mike is first on the scene to help prepare the meal. Once the food is ready, Suzanne carries the soup Mike has made out to the villagers which leaves Mike cross - he wants full credit for making the meal. He makes a point of telling the assembled locals “I made the soup, I made the soup.”

Outside Gardenstown, Malcolm is on the hunt for new accommodation and finds a hotel 20 miles away from the trouble he’s caused. In the meantime, his frustrations are directed at Mike and Suzanne. “What upset me was these two pathetic candidates who have nothing to say at all except be sycophantic and pretend they’ve found friends. They didn’t even show any compassion, they didn’t even bother to call me. They didn’t give a damn, run out town, they didn’t show me any sympathy or compassion, they’re two jerks. Those people (in the village) are horrible and they are welcome to the Mike Reids. As for Suzanne Shaw – my god.”

With just 24 hours to go before the election takes place, each of the candidates have been provided with canvassing kits which include posters and badges. Mike and Suzanne take to the village to plaster their posters in as many places as possible and Mike takes the liberty of drawing a moustache on Suzanne’s poster.

Suzanne gets a nice surprise when her partner Jason arrives with her son Corey, the possible heir to the title of Baron should Suzanne win. While out on the campaign trail with her family, Suzanne bumps into her rival Mike and the argument about who made last night’s soup rears its head again. Suzanne laughs: “You made the village have a stomach bug with your fish soup, everyone had sickness and diarrhoea last night.”

Mike retaliates: “The problem is, what the villagers don’t know and won’t know until this goes out is that I made the soup, regardless of the end result, the sickness and all that. You had the gall, the temerity to carry out the soup-everyone thought you had done it all you did was sit on your *** doing nothing.”

The night before the election, Suzanne and Mike must overcome one final hurdle. They must take part in an “eve of poll rally” where the villagers question them on their suitability to be Baron. Exiled Malcolm is determined not to be forced out of the rally and states his case with producers to allow him to attend. However, his requests fall on deaf ears and he must stay away from the village.

At the rally, Mike and Suzanne are asked why they want to be Baron. “To be a part of this place,” was Suzanne’s answer while Mike’s response was, “I would love to be The Baron and the reason is because it would give me a purpose. I’m The Baron of that lovely little place up there and they want this and they want that and it would give me a little drive to go and do something, so to be part of that community would be great.” However, after the pair are asked why they didn’t go to church the previous Sunday, Mike begins to have second thoughts about winning.

It’s the day of the election and the pressure of campaigning has taken its toll on Suzanne. “I’ve been trying to sell myself and prove to people I’m a good person for the last 10 days and I’ve got to the point where I don’t want to prove anymore, I don’t think I’d like to get the title. There’s a lot of pressure involved that I didn’t realise.”

Mike is also in a reflective mood. “You can’t win with religion. I know people need something to believe in, great, you want to believe that, that’s wonderful, believe it and good luck if you do, but don’t shove it down my chops, don’t run and ruin people’s lives because of your beliefs. People are so frightened of religion. I want the title, I want to be Baron of this area as I honestly believe I can do something in this village that is worthwhile.”

It’s finally time to elect The Baron and all the villagers have a vote regardless of age, sex or beliefs. The turnout is bigger than expected and after an interminable wait, the results are announced. In third place with 14 votes is Malcolm while Suzanne comes second place with 82 votes.

Mike Reid is elected The Baron with 146 votes. To huge cheers and claps from the assembled villagers, Mike accepts the title with pride and triumphantly calls wife Shirley to tell her the news. “So you’re now a Baroness my darling girl, congratulations to you as well little one.”

He tells the cameras: “Shirley is over the moon. Of course I’m pleased I won. That’s what I came up here for, to get this title and fortunately the villagers have voted me in and I feel very proud of it.”

A relieved Suzanne says: “I’m really happy Mike got it. He really wanted it and I’m chuffed to bits he got it, he’s the right guy for the job.”

Mike’s last words on winning the title of Baron of Troup now take on an emotional poignancy. “I feel very proud. I’m very pleased to have the Baronship. I’d also like to convey my wife Shirley’s good wishes. Next time I come up here, whenever that may be, I’ll bring her with me. I know she’ll love this place as much as I do because it is beautiful and I’ll try my best to be a good Baron and try in my own small way to push this little haven forward into the 21st century.”